Routined Robot

Last Sunday our pastor said something that has brought on several conversations in this household. He was talking about the day-to-day lifestyle. We get up, we go to work, come home, watch TV, go to bed, and then get up go to work, come home, Watch TV, go to bed and repeat... I think you get the idea. What in our day-to-day is making a difference? We do the same thing every day. It seems at the end of the day there is nothing to really be proud of. We've done no good work for other or further God's kingdom.

Well that was me this week. I worked a typical 8-5 job in a company's accounting department. I was like a robot, I did the same thing every day. Woke up, did my hair and make-up, got dressed, made tea, went to work, came home cleaned up, made dinner, watched TV, and went to bed. Only to repeat this day after day. I did nothing of importance. It was a routine and I stuck to it.

During the middle of my week, I remember saying to Roger, "this is the kind of job that would make me move to Africa to be a missionary..." He laughed and completely agreed because he had been doing the same thing this week. He was stuck in a routine. I am not saying that Roger and I are moving to Africa to be missionaries (I'm not going to lie and say that we haven't talked about it either...) We are just trying to figure out as a new couple what we need to do to bring eternal joy in our lives. We want to break this mold and really live for something. We need to live out a purpose.

I think if you really think about your life whether you are a Christian or not you will come to a point where you think, "What am I living for?" "Is what I am doing really going to matter?" "Is there something more than this?" That's what I am trying to figure out. I think it's going to be a long journey though...

Today was my Friday...

Many of you don't know that I have been working a temporary job with a large company down here in North Carolina. I really didn't tell anyone because it was only supposed to last 6 days, today being my last day and what I thought was going to be my Friday until...

My boss called me into her office and asked me to stay on for awhile. She didn't say how long. I am planning on working the rest of this week, which is a huge blessing in itself! However, she went on to say wonderful things about me and my work ethic. She like how organized I was and how I prioritize my to-do lists. She said I was extremely friendly to all customers and I am able to take directions well. She then asked me if I was looking for something permanent. Of course, I answered yes. She went on to say that she needs to talk to the VP and what she would like to do is rearrange the accounting department to include me full-time! This is great news but she said that she hasn't gotten the clearance yet from her boss because he is away on vacation and that I would still have to sit through a formal interview and what not. 

So I need your prayers. I would love to work full-time with this company. (If I land the full-time job I will tell you the name). It is a great company to work for and I would love to be full-time. Pray that her boss sees the need for my position and wants to hire me even though I have little large time account experience. Pray that I will be able to accept whatever God has for me. ( I should note that I am awaiting to hear from a few YMCA jobs as well....) I am so thankful that God has given me this opportunity! I am even more thankful for even this week of work. He always knows what I need. I cannot believe how He always takes care of me even when I think He isn't there. He is amazing and continues to show me His power. 

Thanks for praying! I will keep you updated. :) 

Waiting on the Future

What I love about my husband is that I know when God is changing his heart. I can see it in his eyes, the way he stares off in the distance, thinking about the future. I know that something big is going to come. It may not be today or tomorrow but in ten years I strongly believe our lives will look completely different than they do today. I believe God is remolding our dreams and ideas about the future. Only He knows what the future holds. I am anxiously awaiting though...

Oh Brother

I got online an hour ago to blog and spent my time "pinning" to my boards. You can go here to see all about it. It's such a fun way to organize everything and I can look at other people's boards to get some great dinner recipes and so much more.

Anywho...

Tonight I missed a call from my brother in Afghanistan which really bummed me out. However, I was able to text back and forth with my baby brother, Caleb. What a joy that was, even if he was in a bad mood! He never texts me so when he does for whatever reason, I am thrilled.

Caleb and I on the Golden Gate Bridge

My sweet brother Caleb is a senior in high school this year. I cannot believe he has made it. I remember this punk kid running around crazy in grade school. He always had a ton of energy. He is passionate. He is an envelope pusher. He does not take no for an answer when he knows there are other options. I love my dear brother. He is so much like me, it scares me. We are 4 years apart and seem to have the same view towards things.

He texted me tonight for a variety of reasons but what I think it boils down to is that everything is about to change for him...again. Our family is notorious for change. It could be moving houses every few years, school districts within one school year, or new father figures in our lives. We never had consistency in our lives which is why I crave it now and so does my brother.

Unfortunately, for him, he isn't going to get consistency. He is about to enter a huge period of change. He will graduate from high school and have to attend college and decide what to do for the rest of his life. I do not envy him at all. It was a rough period in my life and I know it will be a rough time for him as well. His emotions will get the best of him as they did for me. He will wake up crying and hating his life because all he wants is a sense of normalcy.

So many of us crave normalcy. We want a pattern that we can predict and we can follow to a tea. It doesn't matter what stage we are in our lives, the unknown scares the heck out of us. I feel for my brother, I really do. I am also beyond excited for him as he enters this new phase in his life.

I am learning, with God's help, how great the unknown actually is. It forces us to focus solely on God and His power. I am okay with the unknown knowing that God is there to guide me. I pray that my brother finds comfort in Christ as well. I pray that he understands that this unknown really isn't going to kill him. No matter what he does, he will do it with passion and I have always admired my brother for that.

At the Jelly Belly Factory in California! Don't we look like siblings? :) 

In Control

God is in control.

I know it and most times believe it. But when I say that I believe it then I try to micro-manage God am I believing? I think that's what I have been doing recently- micro-managing God. I say that I trust him but then I keep taking it back into my hands and trying to figure the problem out.

I am mocking God. Every time I micro-manage Him, I am mocking Him.

The truth is, I need a job and I need a job soon. I keep saying that I have "given it over" to God. The truth is, I probably haven't and I do not know if I ever will. I think that it is not a one time deal, I think that every day it is a battle. Every morning, I need to wake up and give my job situation over to God.

I need to stop feeling defeated that this is a daily process. I feel Satan creeping in and telling me that this is wrong and that I should "have it all together." I fall into these lies all the time. Day after day I feel defeated. Satan likes to creep in at night, when I should be sleeping.

It is not going to be a daily process for me from now on,  I am thinking it is going to be a minute by minute process for me. Every minute I am going to have to give it over to God and trust that He will bring me a job that will be just what I need.

Defeated

It is one of those days where I feel completely defeated.

I have no job.

I miss being at home.

I miss my mom.

I miss the normalcy of New York.

I miss the moments that I feel I am missing.

Sometimes one just needs a good cry and some good time in the Word of God.

I plan on doing both.

Thankful that tomorrow is a new day.

Making the Word Personal

As I was reading for my devotions, I came across this passage from Ephesians 2:1-10. I have copied and pasted it and changed it to be personal to me. As I was reading these verses, I felt like God was reading them to me. He clearly needed me to read this. I wanted my pronouns in there so that I can remember that I was once a sinner and now by grace-amazing grace- am saved! Praise God!


"And I am dead in the trespasses and sins in which I once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom I once lived in the passions of my flesh, carrying out the desires of the body  and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved me, even when I was dead in my trespasses, made me alive together with Christ— by grace I have been saved— and raised me up with him and seated me with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward me in Christ Jesus. For by grace I have been saved through faith. And this is not my own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For I am his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,which God prepared beforehand, that I should walk in them."