New Winds.

Bear with me as I stumble through this blog post, I have so many thoughts and cannot seem to string them together ...

I am thankful for a church that preaches the gospel. A pastor who is not afraid to stand up and say things like as wonderful as animals are, they will not get into heaven. And we can spend hours fighting for proper education for our children but a well-educated man will still spend eternity in hell. Death is 100% certain so why do we spend our time on things that are not furthering eternity instead of pouring our lives into people?

I am thankful for a friend who let me borrow her copy of "Interrupted" which shows a God-centered journey of a family pouring their life into social justice, caring for the poor, loving the homeless and being a barefoot church. I am thankful for the the truth it is speaking into my heart. I am thankful to not be alone when I struggle with a grace-filled life versus a legalistic life.

I am thankful for my husband who graciously empty out his wallet to Linda, a lady who spends her days on the street corner where he works. I am thankful to have shook hands with her while the cars behind us were growing angry. I am thankful that she knew Roger's name when she walked over to us, and how sincere she said "God Bless you both" while I held back tears thinking "No, God bless you for what you just did for me. I was shocked to hear my sweet husband recite details of Linda's life, things he learned when he was walking back and forth to work without a car. I was humbled when I learned he had driven her to her motel miles away one night so she didn't have to take the bus.

I am thankful for Christ opening up my eyes and letting me see the needs of others. For so long I felt as if I were missing something. You know going through the motions, sitting in the same spot every Sunday, having the same conversations with the same people who are doing nothing... missing it. I couldn't really believe that the life I was living was what God had called me to live.  I feel a new wind blowing through my life, I feel God as clear as I feel a hug from my husband. I know He is up to something more in my life. I could not be more excited and terrified at the same time. Maybe you are where I am?

"We can't ignore God's ways and expect to maintain His favor. We don't get to neglect the major values of the gospel and claim preference or context. The demands of church leadership- and, more importantly  of living our lives- never come with a permission slip to act contrary to our heritage in Christ." Jen Hatmaker

At the top

I am devouring Jen Hatmaker's book "Interrupted" I find that each page rings some truth in my life. I want to be very careful not to just read the chapter and move on, I want to apply what I am learning and do something. I think we as Christians are called to be much more than hearers of the Word but actually doers of the Word. (Don't amen me yet, have you actually read the Scriptures? Scary stuff in there)

Here's where my thoughts landed for the night:

"When Jesus said, 'It is easier fot a camal to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God' (Matthew 19:24), I now understand that's me. And you. The higher wer are, the harder it is to adopt the heart of Christ. I supposed that's why Americans are the richest people on the earth but plagued with depression  suicide  and loneliness  We're furthest from the freedom that exists only at the bottom, and that liberation money can't buy" Interrupted pg 68

For many years I think I have had this backwards, I strived for the top. You know what's at the top for me? Worry-free living with all the money I could imagine, money to provide me with a huge house with the latest stainless steel appliances, cars, easy living, and a perfect master bedroom. A perfect stress free job where I look forward to waking up to. Oh and the perfectly dressed children with the world's best manners. The easy Christian life where I go to church and never get plugged in or make a difference. Ahh yes, the top.

But is that really where it's at? Is the top what I am living for? Is the top my goal? I don't want it to be. I want it to be at the bottom where Christ is. He came into this world in a stable, He did not have riches beyond riches or a fancy house off in the country side. He was not best friends with people who had the nicest things. He surrounded Himself with the least of these. He walked among the ones I may pass by. He spent time with the widow, orphan, prostitute, homeless, blind, and cripple.  Luke 6:20 records "Blessed are the poor, for theirs is the kingdom of God" 

And yet, I have been working my way up the ladder to the top where Christ does not say blessed are the ones at the top, no, He says quite the opposite. Does it mean Roger and I are to give away all our money? Maybe. Does it mean we should take the less comfortable house so we can help someone else? Maybe. Does it mean giving up my Starbucks so I can turn that 4 bucks into a meal for the homeless shelter I could donate to? Not sure, but it could.

I am not trying to guilt anyone into anything or make you feel like your possessions are evil, I am trying to find the balance (if there is one!) about living on this earth, doing His work, and not trying to climb to the top. It's a rough road but then again whoever said the Christian life would be easy?