.Domesticate Me, Please.

I write this hoping {and knowing} that my Femininist professor nevers reads this. Surely, she would fail me!

I skipped school today. Normally, I reward myself with skipping one class, but today, it was the entire day! {Don't tell my mom...} I couldn't resist though! I needed this day. However, I did not know how much it would truly reveal about my heart. Here's what I mean...

I feel refreshed. I feel revived. I feel refreshed. I feel {dare I say it...} content. I didn't do much today. I cleaned up the house, did some laundry, organized my school work, emptied the dishwasher, cleaned out the sinks, made lunch for Roger, read my book, spent time with Roger, and even made cookies! I feel accomplished.

How many times after a long day of school have I been able to say that? Uh...never? I never say that after a long day of school I felt like I have accomplished something. So guess what? My heart has revealed to me how much I truly want to be a stay-at-home mom. I know that not all days will be glamorous and fabulous, but still they will be days where I can say that I accomplished something great.

Ladies who are already a stay-at-home mom, take great pride!!! You get this divine privledge to educate your children, to feed nurious your family, to provide a safe and clean home for everyone who enters. This is not easy work, you ladies work hard. Take pride though! You have been given this gift of waking up every morning knowing that you can feel accomplished. Although, I will be finishing my degree and looking to work for some time, I long to join you. You women, you make a difference.

Now if you would excuse me, I am going to enjoy my warm chocolate chip cookies with someone I love dearly. And hopefully the rest of my family will be able to enjoy them as well!!

Blinded

You when you get a new car, you think you are the only one who has that car? It happens to me all the time. I got my Tracer and thought that I had never seen one of these cars on the road before. Then out of nowhere, I started to see them everywhere. It happened with my Cobalt. (Even though I hate to mention I ever owned that car...) And it has happened with my G6. I can identify G6's from aways away. I just started to notice that these cars are truly everywhere.

It's funny because I didn't start to recognize what kinds of cars were out there until I had my own car. Once I was aware of it, I would see if everywhere I turned. This is how I feel about the Word of God. Two of my very dear friends are adopting and have shown me a passage that I pass over everyday.

James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

How many times have I read James and did not really let the Words of God sink into me? Now that adoption is so prevalent in my life, I see it everywhere! I hear about it, I talk about it, and I pray about. Once my eyes were open to the Word of God, I couldn't get away from it, just like my car.

So it makes me wonder... what other things in the Bible have I just skimmed over and not let God really get ahold of my heart? There must be more things. I couldn't really know everything about the Bible already. I pray that God continues to show me things that I did not know so that I can identify them everywhere! I want to see what God sees. I want my heart to break for the things that break His heart...

At Peace!

Where to even begin?

Remember before in my posts when I said that I thought God was going to do something big in my life? I have finally figured it out...

At first, I thought God was pointing me in the direction of waiting to get married, maybe it was too soon, I don't really know. However, I am so thankful to report that that is not what is going on. Roger and I are doing great and we are still getting married.

Next, I thought maybe God was calling me out of my Accounting field. I thought maybe I should be a teacher or do this Aquatics thing for the rest of my life. Once again, that was not it. God knew my heart and has placed me in this spot exactly where I am supposed to be.

So what was left? Well I didn't want to admit it, I swore this is what I was supposed to do. I told everyone  that this is what I was going to do. I convinced myself that I must  do this. I spent $250.00 on this thing. However, everytime it crossed my mind, instantly I would get sick. My stomach would be off and I felt no peace about it. I have been struggling with this for weeks. My own little secret that no one has known about, until now.

People are going to laugh and think what was the big deal? This is nothing to worry about, but you must understood that I set myself up for it. I made a goal and I was going to follow it through. So here it is... I am not going to Graduate School. I cancelled my GMAT's and am putting it on hold.

See I told you, you are thinking wow big deal!  You got worked up over that?!? Yes, I did. I really have been struggling with it. There are so many things going through my mind but there are two main reasons why I am putting it on hold.

1- I am tired. I am exhausted. For the last 4 years, I have worked a full time job and traveled back and forth to school. No part of my college experience was normal. Many of you can remember what it was like to be a Senior and want to be done. However, many of you did not work 40 hours a week and go to school an hour away. I want to do one thing. I want to just work. I am sick of playing this game where I have to do both. I want to focus on my first year of marriage. I want to support my soon to be husband. I do not want to continue to do school and work.

2- What is the point of my masters? More money right? A better job? Why? So I can get a better house, a better car, or better clothes? This is wrong. My mindset going into this was wrong. I do not want those things. Even if I had the opportunity to do get these things, I would not purchase them. God is teaching me about the poor. My heart is broken for them. How can I justify going to school, spending $60,000 so that I can get a better job? My heart is set on things greater than money...

At some point, if I need  to go back to school, I will. I still would like to get my Masters as some point but now is not the time. Personally, I am hoping my future job will pay for it. So as of right now, I am graduating from Binghamton University with a 4 year degree in Accounting. I am excited for that accomplishment. It is a big one in my mind. (And my mom's...)

I am finally at peace. I know that this is what God wants. I am beyond excited as I let Him continue to control my life.