At Peace!

Where to even begin?

Remember before in my posts when I said that I thought God was going to do something big in my life? I have finally figured it out...

At first, I thought God was pointing me in the direction of waiting to get married, maybe it was too soon, I don't really know. However, I am so thankful to report that that is not what is going on. Roger and I are doing great and we are still getting married.

Next, I thought maybe God was calling me out of my Accounting field. I thought maybe I should be a teacher or do this Aquatics thing for the rest of my life. Once again, that was not it. God knew my heart and has placed me in this spot exactly where I am supposed to be.

So what was left? Well I didn't want to admit it, I swore this is what I was supposed to do. I told everyone  that this is what I was going to do. I convinced myself that I must  do this. I spent $250.00 on this thing. However, everytime it crossed my mind, instantly I would get sick. My stomach would be off and I felt no peace about it. I have been struggling with this for weeks. My own little secret that no one has known about, until now.

People are going to laugh and think what was the big deal? This is nothing to worry about, but you must understood that I set myself up for it. I made a goal and I was going to follow it through. So here it is... I am not going to Graduate School. I cancelled my GMAT's and am putting it on hold.

See I told you, you are thinking wow big deal!  You got worked up over that?!? Yes, I did. I really have been struggling with it. There are so many things going through my mind but there are two main reasons why I am putting it on hold.

1- I am tired. I am exhausted. For the last 4 years, I have worked a full time job and traveled back and forth to school. No part of my college experience was normal. Many of you can remember what it was like to be a Senior and want to be done. However, many of you did not work 40 hours a week and go to school an hour away. I want to do one thing. I want to just work. I am sick of playing this game where I have to do both. I want to focus on my first year of marriage. I want to support my soon to be husband. I do not want to continue to do school and work.

2- What is the point of my masters? More money right? A better job? Why? So I can get a better house, a better car, or better clothes? This is wrong. My mindset going into this was wrong. I do not want those things. Even if I had the opportunity to do get these things, I would not purchase them. God is teaching me about the poor. My heart is broken for them. How can I justify going to school, spending $60,000 so that I can get a better job? My heart is set on things greater than money...

At some point, if I need  to go back to school, I will. I still would like to get my Masters as some point but now is not the time. Personally, I am hoping my future job will pay for it. So as of right now, I am graduating from Binghamton University with a 4 year degree in Accounting. I am excited for that accomplishment. It is a big one in my mind. (And my mom's...)

I am finally at peace. I know that this is what God wants. I am beyond excited as I let Him continue to control my life.