How He Loves Me

There are times in your life that you just need to be reminded that God loves you. He really does love you and care for you. I was reminded of that today in church, almost brought to tears remembering what He has done for me and how much He has given me.

He is the God of my life, He has his hands in everything I do. He is constantly watching out for me. Why I run the other direction is beyond me, I am blessed beyond words to be loved by a God who truly loves me unconditionally.

I needed that reminder today, I needed church today and that's just what I got. A wonderful Sunday full of praise and remembering how much God truly does love me.

My Biggest Lesson

God has been teaching me one lesson in the past few months: Forgiveness.

I wish I didn't have to learn this lesson. I hate it. I really hate it. 

I have learned some valuable truths about Forgiveness.

1- It's hard very hard. 
2- It requires a supernatural power from God. 
3- The prisoner it frees, is you. 

I want to write and write about this topic but I do not feel like I am able. I do not have the words to describe how the God has changed my life because of this. What I do know is that if I do not forgive I am a hypocrite and a liar in my faith. I know that the world knows me by how I forgive. I know that God has forgiven me beyond what I ever deserve and if I claim to by follower of Him, I should forgive the way he has forgiven me.

I will leave you with a new song from Matthew West called "Forgiveness" He was inspired by a woman who forgave a man who killed her daughter while he was driving under the influence. 

Another Saturday

Saturday's are just magical. I am not sure if it is because they come after a long work week or if it's just because I put so much emphasize on Saturday's in our house.

This Saturday Roger and I had big plans. We were going to sleep in, enjoy a nice breakfast, and then go shopping. 

We did sleep in but I only made it until 8 until my body was screaming it is time to get up. We enjoyed a nice big breakfast together. Roger was able to order his school books and save us a ton of money so that was a wonderful surprised. After cooking breakfast, Roger even cleaned the entire kitchen. Man I love that guy!

I snuck in a quick conversation with Jeanne and found out how wonderful our God is. He has provided for them in just perfect ways and I was so glad she called. I also got to  hear my nephew Jaxon's voice and honestly I had to hold back tears until I got off the phone. There are days where it really hits me that I am far away from him and his brother. I really miss those boys. I mean really really miss them. But I got it together so Roger and I could enjoy our day ahead.

We ran around like crazy people shopping for curtains, desks, school supplies, school clothes for Jaxon,  night stands, Christmas shopping and a number of other items. I am laughing because I was standing in the store holding up some curtains for Roger to look at and he said "babe, no one is going to judge you if our curtains don't match in every room." Let me tell you what, that man is stretching me, he also some other comments about patience and what really matters. 

We scored some great deals on some back to school items for Jaxon and also for Roger. We found some great picture frames at the thrift store and even found Jaxon a warm up UNC jacket. After all the running around, Roger treated me to lunch. It was really a great day up until 4PM....

When we got home, we discovered that the desk we purchased had a crack in the top so it needed to be returned. Roger refused to return it after being out all day and I refused to let it sit in the apartment. We fought like children, it was childish really childish but Roger so graciously offered to help me take it back. I apologized for being so demanding and he apologized as well. We thought that was the end of until we actually had to put the stupid thing together. Talk about patience! It took us 2 hours to get all the pieces together. It's together and I will never buy something else that requires assembly. (Ok, maybe I will but not for a few years...)

So that was our Saturday. God is continuing to work in our lives and we are continuing to trust Him with what He has given us. We both feel blessed, so blessed. God is good to us and we do not deserve His goodness and kindness and yet He still gives it.

Let me leave you with a few pictures our new office!!

This is the frame I scored for 2 bucks! It had several marks on it but I repainted it and now you would never know! I didn't want to put pictures of us in it since it was hanging in the guest room so I filled it with black and whites  of the ocean from our honeymoon. Cute right? :)

This is the shelf that came with the desk. We finally have a place to store all our books and some of Roger's trophies like his signed Red Sox baseball and a very cool black and white picture of some baseballs. I am very happy with it!

And of course the desk, man what a pain but now it looks great. We got  great deal on school supplies and the awesome bulletin board you see hanging. I also had to hang Roger's sign from his mom because well I really believe he needs to feel like this is his office too. Yes, there are two calendars in our office, I mean seriously I can't just work with one! Over all, very pleased!!

End of July?

You don't have to say anything, it's been too long since I've blogged. I cannot believe we are at the end of July. Where does time go?

It's been a great month for us. Roger came home from Africa a change man. He really lost his heart in Africa. As happy as he is to be home, I know a piece of his heart is still there. I am forever grateful that he was able to go on this trip. Roger put together a small video for his home church and once he gives me permission, I will put that video up for you guys to see. Currently, the picture below is what is on my desktop. Ethiopia looks so beautiful to me... 

After Roger got back from Africa, we moved apartments. The apartment we are in has more space and an extra bedroom. We are settled in and really enjoying being here even if I hate the cupboards :) My father-in-law and brother-in-law came down and helped us move. It was great to have them down here. I just adore my married family :) Ryan  was such a great sport and helped me hang all of my pictures.

We took them to Lake Lynn to walk around the Lake and fee the ducks. This picture is on one of the bridges. It is such a cool place to be, Roger and I are really happy to

While the Hubby is Away...

Roger has been away for two days now and let me tell you I have learned a few things...

It's not me leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting to put away my water bottle. I have not found one black sock next to the bed. My kitchen floors are still clean and there are no crumbs in front of the TV.

Yes, Roger has been away for two days and everything is in perfect condition in the house. I honestly, don't mind any of the above things, I would take them over an empty house any day. 

I have learned that I am not a cook when Roger is gone. My menu board looks like salads, bagels, and home made pizzas. (It's so easy cooking for one!) There is no milk in the house and that's perfectly fine with me. My mornings are a little slower and my mood is surprising relaxed. 

I have learned so much about myself these past two days. I actually am starting to believe that God planned for Roger to leave me so He could work on me. I have been in tears more times than I can count these past few days. It is not because I miss Roger, although those tears snuck in there, it is because I am being changed. I am a selfish, stubborn girl. I struggle with forgiveness. I can have a heart of stone towards someone I don't admire. I am a hypocrite in my faith. But man oh man is God chipping away at that. I will not go into specifics here because right now is not the best time. However, I will tell you that I sat through church with tears rolling down my eyes learning about supernatural love. I've heard it over and over again but the truth is if God has forgiven me then I should be able to turn around and forgive others, if not I am a liar in my faith. God has moved me in ways that I did not think were possible and maybe in a few weeks I can share that with you. 

Yes, I truly believe that God has big plans for me these next 13 days. Roger is not the only one on a spiritually journey this month!

My count down calendar!

On another note, we are keeping very busy here! We just got back from NY where I was able to watch my baby brother graduate high school. I am such a proud big sister. I love my brothers so much and am so happy I was able to be apart of this special day.

Roger and I also visited with our favorite nephews. I loved spending the day with Jaxon and Dwade along with their parents. Jaxon is so close to my heart. I love watching him figure things out and see how God is molding him. Dawson whom we've affectionately named Dwade is just oh my goodness perfect. I love this little boy. I am deeply saddened that he won't have the same relationship as Jaxon and I do but I do cherish him as my nephew. 

Jaxon and I at the park. Seriously, what's not to love about this boy?

Terrible picture of Dwade and I but that fact oh that face :) 

Other than that, I have been busy busy busy packing my apartment. Roger and I move July 14th so it's right around the corner for us. I am excited for these next two weeks as God works in my life and am excited to move but more excited for Roger to come home to me. 

We will see what these next few weeks bring... maybe more posts? :

Marriage is Messy

Today our pastor preached a powerful message that really spoke right to my heart. He spoke on marriage. His message was simple but the words he spoke still echo in my mind. 


Our Pastor started the message with a disclaimer that without the Holy Spirit living and actively working in you, your marriage will not be what it is supposed to be. Marriage should be a story of the gospel of Christ played out in our lives. It should show grace, forgiveness, love, and tenderness among other things.


The message really made me want to evaluate my marriage with Roger to see how I am doing as a wife. Of course it would be easy to sit here and tell you how he is doing but that's not my job. I went through my book case and pulled out For Women Only, a book that I read before I was married to Roger.  I decided to dust it off and take it pool-side for a few hours.


I think God knew that I needed to read this book again. Every page was screaming at me and I am only a few chapters in. 



"We as women hold incredible power- and responsibility- in our hands. We have the ability to either build up or tear down our men. We can either strengthen or hobble them in ways that go far beyond our relationship because respect at home affects every area of a man's life" ~Shaunti Feldhahn


That  was a great reminder to me. I have been given this amazing gift, yes I count Roger a gift and I should be taken care of him. I have the ability to ruin him. I am his safe zone and I can turn his safe zone into a war zone with just a few words. I have been given a great gift and often times I misuse it. 

I often don't think of my words as being powerful but I know that they are sharp and poisonous. I do not think of our home as a safe place for my husband. I have not thought about the fact that when he leaves for work or school each day that I am the one determining his self-worth. I am to be an encourager. I am to be a care giver. I am to be Roger's safe place as God has designed me to be. 


But let's be honest, do I feel like doing that after he forgets to tell me how pretty I look when I get dressed up? Do I feel like being his safe zone when I ask him to put his socks away for the hundredth time? Do I feel like respecting him when he isn't meeting my needs? Nope. No way. Not in a million years. I place a conditional statement on Roger, "If" he would only do this... "Then" I would do this... 


How wrong am I? My job as a wife is not to be fulfilled by Roger so I can love Roger in return. My job as a wife is to love Roger unconditionally just as Christ loved the church. My job is forgive Roger when he makes a mistake and move on just as Christ forgave me for my sins. (Here's my tangent- Christ forgave me of everything and here I am holding a grudge at Roger. How childish am I in my faith? I mean really... Okay that's enough)


At the end of the day, I am a wife to Roger, I answer to Christ for my actions. I will stand before the throne of God and tell Christ that if Roger was more whatever then I would have been a better wife. I am accountable to God for my actions and it's time that I start believing that. 


There is always room to grow in a marriage and I am so thankful that there is that room. I am thankful that God has not given up on me and He is diligently molding me into a woman after His heart. I could do none of this without Christ pouring through my life. Marriage is tough but it has proven to be the most rewarding thing I have done so far.

***I am not sure why I feel the need to do this but I need to put a disclaimer on here, I am not perfect by any means and my marriage is not perfect. I am not trying to single anyone out and make them feel like they are doing something wrong in their marriage. I am not God but if you feel defensive after reading my post maybe that's the Holy Spirit working in you. I come from a family of mulitple divorces, I am not trying to hurt anyone. Marriage is messy and I believe it's helpful for me to get some of my thoughts down.***

One Year Later...

I cannot believe it's been a year. I cannot believe I have been married an entire year. Truthfully, I don't want to blog about the wonderful year I have had because I will burst into happy tears. All I know is that marriage is the best thing that has happened to me. Sure, it is work and sure we don't always have lovey feelings every day but we are committed to each other and that's all that matters at the end of the day.

So pardon me while I enjoy some quality time with my husband of one year. I will leave you with a few pictures from our years together.

Roger playing baseball during college 

Roger playing at Gus Maker 

Some anniversary we had together :) 

Red Sox Game at Fenway

Roger when he proposed to me on December 24, 2010 

On our wonderful wedding day <3 <3