Dear Shannon

Today you are getting married and I could not be more excited for you. Today your sister and brother will stand up and give their toasts to you and I wanted to do the same here. I am so happy that both of your siblings are there to share in your special day and the fact that they are doing your toasts is just perfect. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I cannot believe how fast these years have gone by. Do you remember all the crazy things that we use to do? Mismatch day? Getting lost for hours in your woods? Those hour long phone conversations where we begged our parents to let us stay over? How about the bubbles in Nana's tub? We couldn't get them to stop bubbling, we were so scared she would be upset; but she wasn't. How about going school clothes shopping? You would get a green shirt and I would get a blue shirt, we always matched.  6th Grade Play? How about your first boyfriend Mark? (It doesn't count John, she was like 10 haha) And don't forget all of those camp memories and TLC. Toothpaste on the walls? What was wrong with us?! Here's a picture to help you remember those times.

Not that I really need to remind you but remember those painful times we went through? How stupid I was to ever let those years slip away from us. And remember all of those times where we tried to patch things up but nothing seemed to work? Until finally years later, we started intentionally meeting for coffee and getting to know each other again. 

Can I tell you, what a blessing those times were. How thankful I am that we worked through our problems, put them behind us, and became friends again. You have blessed me in so many ways. Remember all those coffee dates where all we talked about was our weddings? Even if we had gone over chair covers for the thousandth time, we still revisited the subject. Remember when you found your wedding dress and you texted me with multiple smiley faces and before you even told me what it looked like, I knew because we had spent hours dreaming about the perfect dress. Remember the bridal show that we went to? We were each months away from our wedding and found it to be rather boring because we are master planners. 

And let's not forget about all of those texts that we would send. We could text for hours and feel completely refreshed. What about Applebee's? We never did need a menu and we never had problems filling up two hours with conversation. And we can't forget my wedding. We spent hours talking to each other. I had to have one more lunch date with just you so I could let you know everything that was going on. I needed you by my side and you were always there. As soon as I had a thought, you took care of it and I never had to think twice about it again. You were amazing. 

But today starts a new chapter in our friendship. Today, you walk down the aisle to the man of your dreams. The man you have been waiting to marry for 6 years. The man God designed for you. John is a lucky man to spend the rest of his life with you. Today, I get the joy of standing up there with you to watch you marry John. I could not be happier for you both. You have a love that not many people find. You both have had to carry this relationship while being hundreds of miles apart. You two adore each other and have the same love that I found in Roger. But today will change our friendship. From this point on we will both have a husband to tend to before each other, we will have daily tasks to do that will keep us apart and at the end of the night we will each come home to our husbands.

However, I am not worried. Although our friendship will change and it will look different than it did yesterday, I am confident that our friendship is here to stay. (We did move states to be closer to you :) ) Our husbands will go out for baseball games and we will spend more time shopping and chatting about our houses instead of weddings. We will have many dates (and double dates). We will find a new friendship together as married women. I cannot thank you enough for your friendship, Shannon. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us. I know He has blessed our friendship and will continue to bless us. 

You will always be my best friend.

I love you.

~ Bethany

-Last Moments-

We are winding down on our time here in New York. I cannot believe after 22 years of being in this state that I am actually moving away. Then again, I can believe it... I hate winter. (Now that isn't the reason that we are moving but it sure does help). 

This weekend my husband (man I love saying that...) and I spent the weekend in Norwich. There is just something about moving that makes me cherish every moment that we have. I know we will be back for many visits but these "last" visits are just so special in my mind. 

Jaxon was able to spend one more night at our house before we move. We ate pizza, watched a movie, and took him to the park. It's such a blessing to be able to have this darling little boy in our lives. And from the picture to the right, I think the feelings are mutual.

We were also able to support Jaxon's parents in their Adoption Walk-A-Thon. They are following God's plan for them by adopting right here in the US and I honestly couldn't be more excited for them. I am glad we were able to help and Roger and I enjoyed walking together with Jaxon. While at the Walk-A-Thon, Roger and I were able to visit some dear friends from Norwich and their children. It's so fun just sitting in the grass, eating BBQ while enjoying conversation. 

Later that day I had the privileged of cooking dinner for Roger's family. Everyone was there and that made it even more special. However, my favorite part was sitting outside and watching Roger and his brothers interact around the basketball hoop. There is just something so wonderful about a barefoot, summer night outside. 

And if the Lord hasn't blessed us enough, Sunday, we visited with an old Camp friend of mine and her sweet boyfriend while we ate Ethiopian food at the Darlings. Just being able to soak up some great conversation was just what we needed. I thoroughly enjoyed the Ethiopian food and their precious children as we spent the afternoon together.

Even today as I write this, Roger and I have plans with our dearest friends, baseball and Starbucks will be filling the evening. I just can't believe how blessed Roger and I are here in New York. Sometimes, I wonder why we are leaving but when those thoughts flood my mind, I just remember that Roger and I believe this is what God wants for us. He has a great opportunity for school and honestly, we have a great opportunity to really build our marriage together, apart from our comfortable world. Who knows, we may return in a few years...but I would rather if everyone moved down South! ;) 

One Month In

I am  a few short days away from being married for a month and now I am an expert at all things marriage. Okay, we both know that's not true but in a very short month, I have learned many things about being a wife and homemaker and thought I would share them here.

- Doing laundry together is something I really look forward to. It's easier for both of us to go to the laundry mat to sort, wash, and fold. 

- Communication is key to a successful relationship. It doesn't matter if it's just sharing about our day or communicating that I would like help in the kitchen. It is very important for Roger and I to intentionally communicate.

- Roger and I are each other's helpers. If I have a late night at work, I know that I can leave Roger a note and he will start dinner-if not make it before I get home from work. And after we eat, we seamlessly fall into this pattern where cleaning up is a breeze.

- We understand each other's needs, sometimes Roger just needs to play video games and enjoy some time with his brothers and sometimes I need Roger to turn off the TV and spend time with me. And you know what, it is fine with both of us. 

- A homemade dinner beats going out to eat almost anytime. It is so wonderful to be able to make Roger a meal that he truly looks forward to. Dinner time is a great time to just sit and chat about the day and what's to come the following days. (Pictured on the right is the homemade Bruschetta I made the other day)

- I have learned that I am a weekly grocery shopper. I know that that may have to change once our lives get really hectic but right now I can pull it off. I like weekly shopping because I don't have to plan my meals out more than a week at a time. (I would be so stressed planning so many weeks out...) Also, being a weekly grocery shopper means that there is always fresh fruits and veggies in the house and I love that.

- I HATE raw meat. Oh the thought of it grosses me out completely. I am going to have to go gloves or something so my bare hands do not have to touch raw chicken. I also struggle with freezing meat then unfreezing it to cook with. I don't know what it is about meat but it really makes me sick.

- We have also found that praying together really brings us together as a couple. I love these sweet moments we get to share together where Roger gets to cry out to God and is asking God for the exact things that my heart is aching for. I cannot help but shed some tears when I hear my husband pray for our marriage together and how is desperately wants us to be married forever.

I really love being married. I really do. I know that tough times will come (although we haven't fought since before the wedding...) but it is nice to know at the end of the day, I have someone to come home to. Someone that I really love and care for and know has the same feelings for me. I pray that these things do not change. I pray we stay in love and continue to always fight for each other and our relationship.

.Two Feelings.

23 days until we officially move to North Carolina. Honestly, I am besides myself with excitement and then scared out of my mind. Let me try and explain my feelings from both sides.

Scared out of my mind~
I am moving to a completely new area with my new husband. Luckily, my best friend and her almost hubby are in the same area. However, I am leaving behind my family, friends, and amazing job. I hate the fact that things will not be normal. I will not know where Wal-Mart is, who to get my hair cut with or what mechanic to go to. I am also terrified because I have not find a job yet. Don't get me wrong, I have applied and applied but have not had any luck... I am getting nervous because the accountant in me doesn't see how these numbers will add up. Roger and I are diligently saving but still it is a huge expense to move.

I am also struggling with the idea of not being around my mom. I know that we are called to "leave and cleave" and we are doing that. But recently, we found out that my brother Nathan will be going to Afghanistan for 6 months starting in August. The fact that I cannot be around my mom during this extremely hard time in her life, is killing me. (Pray for my family!)

There are just so many scaring things that come with moving to another state but at the same time there are also some exciting things...

Besides myself with Excitement~
What you may not know is that my husband and I are living in a completely furnished apartment without most of our stuff. All of our wedding gifts and my kitchen items are in storage and frankly I am going crazy. Just tonight, I pulled apart 4 boxes just to see and remember what we have been given or have purchased for ourselves. It is very frustrating to make dinner and know that you have a garlic press but that it is in a box miles away. I am so thankful for our living situation but really am getting anxious to  have all of our belongings back.

I am also looking forward to the fact that I can settle our home. I have so many ideas for our kitchen and bed room. I just want home to feel like our home. It is very natural to feel this way after you get married but I have been married for a month and haven't been able to settle anything. It will be nice to finally have everything in one place.

I would be lying if I didn't say that I am super excited to move to the same area as my best friend, Shannon! God has been so good to us and our friendship and the fact that He is allowing both of us to be in the same area is just well amazing. Her almost husband and my husband get along great and we really enjoy spending time together. I look forward to going to their place for dinner and having them over, to more coffee and lunch dates, to just hanging out and getting to know our area and to possibly settling into the same church together. So much excitement!

So you can see my divide? Can't you? Please keep us in your prayers. We are set to move July 17. I am sure I will blog before then but the longer people pray for us the better!

.Swimming Safety.

It's time for my annual get your child in swim lesson post. Oh? I don't write one of these every year? Well gee, I should because an average of nine children die every day from drowning. Did you catch that.. NINE CHILDREN A DAY. And here you are reading my blog instead of getting those kids in swim lessons...

Okay, maybe that was a little harsh but you must understand how serious this issue is. Just the other day, I was talking with a parent whose child was not comfortable in the water. I was giving her some simple tips that I really believed would help her 4 year old daughter. She did not want any advice and claimed that I had no experience in the area...

Before I pass on some summer swimming tips, let me tell you that I am a certified American Red Cross Water Safety Instructor {fancy words...} pretty much I am a swim instructor and I have been for years now. I can teach anyone, any age, any experience, and with any disabilities. So let's dive in with some of my tips.

1- Swimming begins at home, in the bath tub. This is the biggest mistake that parents make, they often look over this vital teaching tool. In the bath tub, your child can learn breath control, blowing bubbles, and kicks. The main thing that I encourage my parents is breath control and blowing bubbles. Your child no matter how young {6 months even!} can learn to hold their breath. You need to have "cue words" like "1,2,3" or "Ready, Set, Go" Something that teaches the child that at the last word you will be dumping water on their face. It will take some time before your child starts to hold their breath but it will come. The next thing is DO NOT WIPE OFF THEIR FACE! Ugh, as a swim teacher, I HATE kids who need to run to Mom to wipe their face off. Make it a game, tell them to shake the water off, tell them that the water isn't going to hurt them, but please don't get them into a pattern of wiping off their eyes. After your child learns how to hold their breath, they need to learn how to blow bubbles because this translates into rudimentary breathing for freestyle later on. Get some ping pong balls or little animals, anything that floats and have them blow bubbles next to it so that the ball will move. If your child is old enough and understands how to blow out their birthday candles, emphasize that it is the same thing. If they are young say a year, you have to show them. {Lucky you!} If your child can master these skills before they enter a formal swim program, they will be doing great.

2- My second tip is about if  you or a loved one will be teaching your child to swim. {I personally recommend formal lessons but I understand that not everyone can afford it.} A lot of times I see parents bring in their child and try to teach them how to swim but they really don't know what they are doing. I personal do NOT recommend swimming arms, full body suits, or bubbles. Parents think this is a great way to get their child to swim but there are two problems with that. The first, is that it creates a false hope of security in the water for BOTH the child and the parent. They are not safe. I have seen dozens upon dozens of children flip over in these things and cannot get themselves back up. My second problem with these floatation devices is that it forces the child to swim as if he or she is walking. It makes the child swim vertically instead of horizontally which keeps their head out of the water, creating improper alignment in their neck and back. I do understand if you have a few children and need something on them so you can hold your little one but I do not recommend them for teaching swimming. So what do I recommend?

3- I recommend that you use a noodle. It gives just enough support but still forces your child to swim. The noodle can be held by their hands with the arms straight and face in or you can rest it under their arms and you hold the child's hands. Like you see in this picture.


The child should be able to kick using a straight leg kicked called the flutter kick. I often have to tell kids not to ride their bicycles in the pool but to keep their legs straight and kick. Once the child can kick, I recommend adding in the arms. Overhand arms. The saying I use goes like this, "Pocket, Sky, Reach" During the "pocket" motion they are reaching for their pockets, "sky" puts their hand behind them and "reach" allows them to reach all the way around out of the water for either your hand or the noodle. And honestly let them get really comfortable doing that, of course with their head in the water, and then remove the noodle. It's not going to work instantly but it will work eventually. {Of course, I have a thousand tips if it doesn't work...}

4- My fourth tip is that you need to teach your child water safety. You as a parent should have a clear set of rules about water. Such as: Don't swim alone, Swim with a Lifeguard, Look before you leap, and about head firsts entries. You want to create a healthy fear about water for your child. They need to know how dangerous it can be for them if they are not safe.

5- These leads into my last tip. If you have a tragic story about a near drowning or you are terrified of the water, I wouldn't share these. I know many kids who won't get in the water because their dad is scared of the water or he always thinks it's too cold. I strongly believe that if you have had tragic experiences or are scared yourself to get into Adult Swim Lessons. I cannot even begin to tell you about the number of teenage and adult lessons that I do because they were too scared when they were younger. If you don't like water running down your face and you need to run for to a towel, try not to make that known to your child. Your child will pick up on these things.

I honestly could go on forever about swimming and lessons but I would bore you guys to death. If you have questions about this sort of thing, please ask me. We need to keep our children safe this summer. I think that is something we all can agree on.

.Intentional Living.

in·ten·tion·al/inˈtenCHənl/

Adjective: Done on purpose; deliberate

Intentional. What a great word. If you are doing something intentionally, you are doing it on purpose, it was a premeditatied thought; it isn't something you just come up with on a whim; it's intentional.

Recently, that has become my theme word. I have been married for almost 2 weeks and am already seeing how this word will be playing an important role in our marriage. Intentional communication, intentional pursuing, intentionally planning special moments ect.

However, last night I shared with Roger something that has been brewing in my heart for weeks. I want us as husband and wife to intentionally notice those who need our help. This can range from a family who is adopting and selling t-shirts, to an organization that is trying to help women get out of prostitution; domestically or internationally. The purpose is not to intentionally notice those in need but to intentionally purpose in our hearts to help them.

I presented to Roger an idea about deliberately doing something. We decided that out of every paycheck we will set aside a set a certain amount of money and together pick out a group, family, or organization to help. Then for the next two weeks, together, we are going to pray for that group we are helping. Roger agreed with an open heart. It's not much and we will not be able to give thousands of dollars but the point is that we are doing something. We are going to be able to lift up a group in need financially and more importantly spiritually.

So here's my challenge to you...what are you doing intentionally for those in need? If you already do something please share with me.  I welcome your thoughts. If you are not doing anything why not?

.Our Wedding Day.

After a year and a half of planning, organizing, and scheduling vendors, everything came together for our wedding. It was just how I imagined that it would be fun and beautiful. We had an ice cream sundae bar that everyone raved about and danced the afternoon away.

I have some photos from our fabulous photographer that I will try and post here. You can visit her website here and if you want you can "like" her Facebook page, "Red Balloon Photography." You will see them in better quality and that way I can give credit to her. Check out her sites, her pictures are gorgeous!

So here are a few of my favorites...

This is before the wedding. I just needed to sit. You can see my shoes in the background, I waited until the last minute before I put them on...

This photo was actually taken by Tiffany, her daughter Cadi was one of my flower girls. I love this photo because it sums up our relationship. I adore Cadi and she adores me. 

Our first kiss! What a great moment for us.

The look on Roger's face just says it all. This was at the reception. We just adore each other.

In front of the white fence at the reception hall. These pictures really are priceless. She did a great job, I cannot say it enough. Please check out her site if you are looking for a photographer in the NY area!

I would like to sit here and write more but now that I have an apartment and a husband coming home for dinner, I really need to get going. I will try and blog more when I get the time this week. I hope you enjoyed looking at some of our pictures!