-Last Moments-

We are winding down on our time here in New York. I cannot believe after 22 years of being in this state that I am actually moving away. Then again, I can believe it... I hate winter. (Now that isn't the reason that we are moving but it sure does help). 

This weekend my husband (man I love saying that...) and I spent the weekend in Norwich. There is just something about moving that makes me cherish every moment that we have. I know we will be back for many visits but these "last" visits are just so special in my mind. 

Jaxon was able to spend one more night at our house before we move. We ate pizza, watched a movie, and took him to the park. It's such a blessing to be able to have this darling little boy in our lives. And from the picture to the right, I think the feelings are mutual.

We were also able to support Jaxon's parents in their Adoption Walk-A-Thon. They are following God's plan for them by adopting right here in the US and I honestly couldn't be more excited for them. I am glad we were able to help and Roger and I enjoyed walking together with Jaxon. While at the Walk-A-Thon, Roger and I were able to visit some dear friends from Norwich and their children. It's so fun just sitting in the grass, eating BBQ while enjoying conversation. 

Later that day I had the privileged of cooking dinner for Roger's family. Everyone was there and that made it even more special. However, my favorite part was sitting outside and watching Roger and his brothers interact around the basketball hoop. There is just something so wonderful about a barefoot, summer night outside. 

And if the Lord hasn't blessed us enough, Sunday, we visited with an old Camp friend of mine and her sweet boyfriend while we ate Ethiopian food at the Darlings. Just being able to soak up some great conversation was just what we needed. I thoroughly enjoyed the Ethiopian food and their precious children as we spent the afternoon together.

Even today as I write this, Roger and I have plans with our dearest friends, baseball and Starbucks will be filling the evening. I just can't believe how blessed Roger and I are here in New York. Sometimes, I wonder why we are leaving but when those thoughts flood my mind, I just remember that Roger and I believe this is what God wants for us. He has a great opportunity for school and honestly, we have a great opportunity to really build our marriage together, apart from our comfortable world. Who knows, we may return in a few years...but I would rather if everyone moved down South! ;) 

.Two Feelings.

23 days until we officially move to North Carolina. Honestly, I am besides myself with excitement and then scared out of my mind. Let me try and explain my feelings from both sides.

Scared out of my mind~
I am moving to a completely new area with my new husband. Luckily, my best friend and her almost hubby are in the same area. However, I am leaving behind my family, friends, and amazing job. I hate the fact that things will not be normal. I will not know where Wal-Mart is, who to get my hair cut with or what mechanic to go to. I am also terrified because I have not find a job yet. Don't get me wrong, I have applied and applied but have not had any luck... I am getting nervous because the accountant in me doesn't see how these numbers will add up. Roger and I are diligently saving but still it is a huge expense to move.

I am also struggling with the idea of not being around my mom. I know that we are called to "leave and cleave" and we are doing that. But recently, we found out that my brother Nathan will be going to Afghanistan for 6 months starting in August. The fact that I cannot be around my mom during this extremely hard time in her life, is killing me. (Pray for my family!)

There are just so many scaring things that come with moving to another state but at the same time there are also some exciting things...

Besides myself with Excitement~
What you may not know is that my husband and I are living in a completely furnished apartment without most of our stuff. All of our wedding gifts and my kitchen items are in storage and frankly I am going crazy. Just tonight, I pulled apart 4 boxes just to see and remember what we have been given or have purchased for ourselves. It is very frustrating to make dinner and know that you have a garlic press but that it is in a box miles away. I am so thankful for our living situation but really am getting anxious to  have all of our belongings back.

I am also looking forward to the fact that I can settle our home. I have so many ideas for our kitchen and bed room. I just want home to feel like our home. It is very natural to feel this way after you get married but I have been married for a month and haven't been able to settle anything. It will be nice to finally have everything in one place.

I would be lying if I didn't say that I am super excited to move to the same area as my best friend, Shannon! God has been so good to us and our friendship and the fact that He is allowing both of us to be in the same area is just well amazing. Her almost husband and my husband get along great and we really enjoy spending time together. I look forward to going to their place for dinner and having them over, to more coffee and lunch dates, to just hanging out and getting to know our area and to possibly settling into the same church together. So much excitement!

So you can see my divide? Can't you? Please keep us in your prayers. We are set to move July 17. I am sure I will blog before then but the longer people pray for us the better!

.Let God Worry.

The cursor blinking in front of me seems to be making fun of me.

I have come to this blank page so many times and have left knowing that I did not know what to share.

In my life, I am at a changing point. I am completely sure of it. I am faced at the cross roads, which way to go, what will happen? I am graduating in May and then a short week later getting married. Both of those things sit very well with me. I have planned them and have come to accept them in the most wonderful of ways. In July though, I have not accepted that yet. Roger and I have decided to move. We will be moving to Raleigh, North Carolina to pursue Roger a degree at a better school. He will be attending North Carolina State University. We will be within minutes of my best friend, Shannon and her sweet soon-to-be husband, John. We are beyond excited to move. Well part of me is.

There will be no sense of home there, only the home that Roger and I create, together. This is where I lose sleep at night. What kind of housing and lifestyle we live depends on what kind of job I get. We will no doubt, be living in a huge apartment complex with a pool in the backyard and a complete workout center within walking distance, but is it what we really want? I struggle with this because I am at a cross roads in my life. My eyes have been opened to the truth of those suffering all over the world and yet I am trying to get enough money so I can have a washer and drier inside of my apartment. I feel selfish and materialistic.

I think of my sweet sponsored child, Glory. She lives half way across the world in a mud hut and seems completely happy with her life because she does not know "what she is missing." Is she missing anything? Am I the one missing something? I know that God has placed me into this life with these privileges but I am not naive enough to think that I desire more "things" than God does. I am trying to find the balance of being excited to get a new home and fill it with "our stuff" and yet still be grounded where we realize that we do not need these things.

I do not want know where to go with this post, which is why I probably have written it several times. I only pray that my Father will help me and my love to discern these things. I pray the He is able to help us realize what is truly important. There are so many things that I am bringing before my God because my heart is breaking. I pray that in His time He will answer my questions and allow me rest.

I drove by a church the other day and their sign said, "Pray and let God do the worrying..."

That's what I will do.