In Control

God is in control.

I know it and most times believe it. But when I say that I believe it then I try to micro-manage God am I believing? I think that's what I have been doing recently- micro-managing God. I say that I trust him but then I keep taking it back into my hands and trying to figure the problem out.

I am mocking God. Every time I micro-manage Him, I am mocking Him.

The truth is, I need a job and I need a job soon. I keep saying that I have "given it over" to God. The truth is, I probably haven't and I do not know if I ever will. I think that it is not a one time deal, I think that every day it is a battle. Every morning, I need to wake up and give my job situation over to God.

I need to stop feeling defeated that this is a daily process. I feel Satan creeping in and telling me that this is wrong and that I should "have it all together." I fall into these lies all the time. Day after day I feel defeated. Satan likes to creep in at night, when I should be sleeping.

It is not going to be a daily process for me from now on,  I am thinking it is going to be a minute by minute process for me. Every minute I am going to have to give it over to God and trust that He will bring me a job that will be just what I need.