Happen Birthday, Jaxon!!

Happy Birthday, Jaxon!!!

I cannot believe for the life of me that you are five years old today. Man does time fly. I remember when you were still in your mommy's tummy and I was wishing that you were a girl :) But I am so happy you turned out to be a boy, you are exactly who God wanted you to be.  

This is the first birthday that I am not with you to celebrate. Do you remember last year's birthday? When you turned 4? I left you the arrows on the floor to the sugary cereal? Make sure you eat sugary cereal today, after all it is your birthday!!

You and I at your old home before we moved.

It's hard for me to write this because I miss you so much. You were so little when we moved into your house together. We adored each other. You would light up when I walked into a room and call me "Ba" and eventually it turned into Aunt Bethany. I loved spending my free time playing with you. You must agree that I have the best Sally voice for Cars, mommy just can't cut it. Remember all of those forts that we used to make? I am not sure why but you loved being in dark small spaces, it is an oddity about you but that's okay. I didn't mind folding piles of sheets after a good adventure together. Do you remember all the cookies and brownies we made? Yum! You have always been the best helper. 

Our favorite past time, playing in my room.

You take after me, did you know that? I may have taught you to be a tad organized with everything having a certain spot. Don't let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with that! It's a great quality to have.  I hope it's forever engraved into your memory that your tongue has the most germs and it's important to brush every day. 

Us being silly in one of the forts we made.

My wish for you today is that you have a great birthday and know how special you really are. My wish for the year to come is that you grow closer to Jesus because He loves you more than I could ever love you. I hope that your day is just as special as you are. You are becoming a wonderful young man and I count it a blessing to be your aunt.

Happy Birthday to you, my favorite Jaxon. You are one in a million. 

You at 4.5 years old at my apartment in North Carolina

I love you to the sun and moon and back. To infinity and beyond... GOTCHA :) 

XOXO,

Aunt Bethany 

Valentine's Day <3 

Making Peanut Butter Cookies for Christ

Like Mother Like Daughter

This is the first Mother's Day that I am not spending with my mom.

I honestly can't believe we are at this point in my life where I am not right by here side. My mom means the world to me. I know that someday we will live at least in the same state again (hint hint mom)

My mom and I at my Senior Prom

Roger keeps telling me that I am so much like my mom. He says that my mannerism and those odd things about me have come straight from my mom. I think it's a compliment to my mom for raising me, he of course thinks he is picking on my mom. Either way, I don't care!

My mom and I at my High School Graduation

My mom has taught me more than I can every write down. She laid the foundation for my faith in Christ, she taught me that no matter my brothers are always my brothers, she taught me how to cook, bake, and clean. Most importantly she taught me how to care for others, especially for those in need. I cannot tell you how many "needy" people were in and out of our house for a warm meal and a bed to sleep in. I cannot count how many Thanksgivings we had with people I have never met. She truly taught me to care.

She taught me how to love like Christ did. My mom has done so much for my brothers and I, she put herself in tough spots just to give us a better life. She left a physically abusive relationship in order to provide us with the future that she knew we deserve. She loved her children and continues to love us. She  is my biggest encourager and always has the best advice for me.

I absolutely love my relationship with my mom now. Being adults and friends is just a wonderful blessing. I always hope she knows how much I love her. I really look up to my mom. She is a wonderful woman and I wish her the very Happy Mother's Day with love...

My mom and I at Shannon's Wedding

White Cupboards

I cannot believe how out of control I have gotten lately.

Let me help you understand...

Roger and I have to move in July because our rent is going up significantly so I have been apartment hunting. I spent a whole day a few weeks ago with my bestie Shannon looking through every apartment we could find. We asked about standard wall color, cable jacks, standard cupboards, appliances, and garbage disposals. You see the apartment I am in now is wonderful. It is modern, clean, and everything one would look for in an apartment.

The problem with all of these other apartments is that they are not modern and perfect. They have some things that just won't cut it with me. The plan is to stay in this apartment until we need to move for Roger's job (hopefully somewhere in Raleigh...) or buy a house. We do not want to move every year so I am looking for a "permanent" home. Some of the apartments won't work because of the layout, price, or it has been very loved. (You know carpet coming up and massive marks on the walls)

But yesterday, Roger and I saw an adorable apartment. It is pretty much everything I want in an apartment. The layout makes perfect sense! Laundry where it should be, dining room next to the kitchen, and linen closest. The only thing I hate is the cupboards. They are dated. They are those nasty white ones line with wood (Sorry if you have those...) They are simply not me. \



They kind of look like these cupboards...



When Roger and I got home we started discussing the apartment and I told him absolutely not because I cannot look at something that ugly. He started talking about the layout and how the apartment had a great built in bookcase and the master bathroom was huge, all things that I had completely missed because I hated the cupboards.

It hit me in the middle of the night that I am completely selfish. Here I am in America with the freedom to have religion and choices. I have the ability to have several options when it comes to apartments. All the apartments I looked at have a pool and a gym. I am blessed far beyond what I deserve. And here I am complaining about the cupboards that are in this apartment.

I feel like a spoiled brat. I feel terribly disgusted with myself for turning my nose up at a great apartment because the cupboards are white. I am not trying to get under anyone's skin here, I really am not. Maybe ugly cupboards or odd floor plans is a huge deal to you and that's fine with me. For me it's the fact that I have been spoiled with so many options and that I felt like I deserve nicer apartments than what I was being shown. But really, come on, what about those refugees who come to the US for religious freedom, I cannot believe that they would turn down a great apartment because of the cupboards. In fact, they would probably be thrilled to have a place to put their items or call home.

That's my rant. It's ridiculous I know. Maybe it isn't cupboards for you, maybe it's something else. For me in my life, I am just trying to figure out what is truly a big deal to me and what truly isn't. These cupboards will not effect my life for the worse and I can honestly say that we may have found our next apartment... ugly cupboards and all...

The Plan

Well the plan today was to do a little shopping this morning for a almost 5 year old and then lay out in the sun all day...

I made Roger breakfast before his day of work and then grabbed my bag to head to the mall. I got to the stores and started to picking out some items and realized I left my wallet at home. I put everything back and headed home to enjoy the sun.

I got out to the pool and grab my latest Cooking Magazine and was soaking up the sun. It was going great until the sun decided to hide behind an ugly storm cloud forcing me inside for the afternoon. 

I read my magazine inside on the couch, cut coupons, and found some fabulous recipes. 

I have done some apartment hunting...again. I may have found one but in all honesty, I have said that before. We can't stay where we are because the cost is so high. We found an apartment we love but they may not have it open when we need it to be. It's just plain stressful.

So the plan for the remainder of the day is to grill out, maybe take a walk and enjoy a late night movie from our couch. Or who knows maybe something will change and we won't do any of that... 

Enjoy your Saturday... whatever your plan is! 

Oh Highschool

On a good night, I can trick my husband into late night pillow talk. Normally, it comes after a few good mornings where we have been able to sleep in and then forcing him to go to bed early because "I am tired..."

When all of those things come together and Roger isn't tired at all... he will spend hours talking with me like when we were in high school...

Oh high school, that was the topic last night. We were laughing over some high school drama that we were witnessing on face back and we started to reminisce about our high school years. I was one selfish girl that's for sure...

I think the saying I repeated a hundred times was "If I only knew then what I know now..." It's the truth isn't it? In high school, I was crazy obsessed about how I looked, my grades, saying the correct things, acting a certain way, and beating our rival schools. High school was my life, I neglected my family so I could be engulfed in this silly world I had created.

I am friend's with some current high schoolers and I am always tempted to post on their status and tell them that there is a HUGE world out there and this problem will not matter in um a month! I don't though because they will figure it out.

I am not sure when it changes, when you realize that life isn't about you and that you have really screwed up some good years. Maybe it's college, maybe it's the first real job you get, or maybe it's marriage. I am not sure, I just know that life changes.

My co-workers don't care if I am wearing the latest trends, when I got my frist real job they did not ask about my high school grades or even ask about my awesome GPA. I care so much about family and would rather spend weeks with them than being connected electronically. And honestly, that rival high school was keeping my future husband. Who would have guessed?

I think this late night pillow talk really made us think about what we are worrying about right now. We have been striving for the best apartment, starting to possible look at houses, dreaming about new furniture sets and buying the latest kitchen gadgets. I don't think these things will matter to me in 10 years, I mean if high school is the furthest thing from my mind then I figure these things will also come and go.

I guess the point of this little post is to remind me what really matters in life; it's my relationship with Christ, my relationship with my husband and my relationship with my family. And that my friends, is why I love late night pillow talks because they always seem to inspire me...

Roger's Ethiopia Trip

I have been asked to share a few details about my husband's upcoming trip to Ethiopia, I figured this was the best way to do it.

He has an amazing opportunity to travel with a group from Calvary Baptist Church in Norwich, NY during the first two weeks of July. Yes I will be alone for 2 weeks! I cannot even begin to think of it or I burst into tears... sigh.

He is going with dear friends of ours, Jim and Tiffany, who have been there a few times because that is where their  second son is from. I knew that we would travel to ET someday but I did not imagine that Roger would be going before me. I am extremely grateful for this opportunity for him and want to support him in any way possible.

I strongly believe he is following God's plan for him to look after the widows and orphans like it is commanded here in James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Roger will be ministering to the people of Ethiopia by caring in local orphanages, partnering with Christian ministries that are already in ET, and encouraging local Christians believers in their faith. Although, I am not sure of exact details of the trip, I know that my sweet husband will come back changed.

Unfortunately, going on a trip like this is expensive. Roger needs to raise $3,000 by April 30, 2012. We have sent out letters to our family and friends asking for support and prayer. We have been very blessed by those who have come alongside of Roger to support him financially on this trip. Roger and I also have been diligent in putting away money for his trip. We strongly believe that our family and friends should not be the only ones sacrificing for this trip-we want to do our part as well.

The team leaders of this group have set up an account with Ordinary Hero which is a store that sells products to support missions trips, orphans, and waiting children. Right now, if you purchase something from this store, 40% of the proceeds will be donated to the team going to ET. What's even more exciting, is the top 3 teams to sell the most product will get an additional $500.00 added to their account!!

It's very simple to do.

First go to the following website:
http://ordinaryhero.org/Ordinary_Hero/Store/Store.html

When you check out, you will need to enter "Tiffany Darling" in the Affiliate Name box in order for the team to receive the 40% credit.

And that's it! Pretty simple right?

If you cannot support my husband's team financially, will you support them in prayer? I know all team members would appreciate being covered in prayer as they head over to Africa.

If you have any questions feel free to send me an email blbrown16@hotmail.com

Thanks friends for reading this! I cannot wait to see what God does through this team!!

I've been busy...

The truth is I had to set a calendar reminder on my Blackberry to remind me to blog this week...

It's not that I don't want to blog, I love to blog. It's just that I have been busy, very busy.

Our home was filled with a long lost friend who needed compassion and love. It wasn't something I planned for but let me tell you God's timing is perfect. I actually think I walked away from that weekend more blessed than my friend was. It is truly amazing how good friends really seem be a gift from God.

I have been busy at work and I think I am finally starting to settle in. I have met a great person in customer service who really reminds me of my mom. I was able to share lunch with her and tell her a bit of my story. I think God placed this woman in my life to remind me of my home even though it's miles away.

One weekend my best friend and I spent hours apartment hunting and dreaming of our futures. We caught up over a favorite lunch spots in our normal booth. She is a wonderful blessing to me. We live a few miles away but we never see each other. We live separate lives but when our lives allow us to see each other, I often wonder why I don't see her every day? 

My husband and I have been busy preparing for him to go to Ethiopia this summer. We spent one afternoon stuffing envelopes and praying over this trip for him.  I am insanely jealous but am beyond thrilled that he will get to spend several days ministering with some of my favorite people. I know that he will come back changed and I cannot wait to see how that will impact our family. 

I've been busy making plans to travel back home for my baby brother's gradation in June. I cannot believe he is graduating. Oh my baby brother is growing up! I start to think about our trip and get giddy just knowing that I will see my mom, Jeanne, Dave, and family. I cannot help it but my mind is just busy with this trip. 

My heart has been busy. It has been breaking for those closest to me and weighing so heavily on me. I wake in the middle of the night just unsure of what to do. Grace and forgiveness are on my mind constantly but actually putting it into action is another hurdle for me to jump over. 

Of course the more I write how busy I am, I realize how blessed I am. It is one of the reasons I love to blog because it reminds me how much God has given me. How much He loves me and really does bless me every day. I would continue to write but I need to put another batch of cookies in the oven.

I will leave you with a picture of our "backyard" at our apartment...