Stuck in the Huddle

I sat in Sunday School this morning not sure what I was going to "get out of it." I always seem to have this attitude that I cannot be taught, however, I was amazed at what I actually learned. At the end of our class, our teacher, showed us this video and it was just what I needed to hear.

The basic idea is this...

Think of your favorite football team. The quarter back calls everyone together and gives out the next play. They all call break and walk to the bench and sit there. A few minutes later, they come back and do the same thing again. They never actually play out the play that was called.

This is so much like our Christian life. Daily, we read instructions from the Bible, our playbook. We stand together in church, sunday school, or the like, hear the play and then "break." Instead of us living out the life changing truths that we have just heard, we go and sit on the bench. We come together in a week and do the same thing. Again and again we do this.We seem to never live out the playbook.

This is where I am. I go to church, I soak in what I need to and that's the end of it. I am sick of living this way. I am sick of hearing God's truths and turning my head the other way. It's not the kind of relationship I want with my Savior.

Is it the kind you want with your Savior?

.The Best 38 Dollars I've Ever Spent.

Every month I spend about thirty dollars in coffee, forty in food, thirty to have my blackberry, and thirty-eight dollars for Glory.

Glory is the Compassion child that Roger and I sponsor. Every month, thirty-eight dollars is taken out of my account. I do not make that much money. I work full time as an Aquatics Director, trust me, I do not make alot of money, but I make enough. I make enough money, with the help of Roger to sponsor Glory.

The BEST thirty-eight dollars ever spent...

Today we received our very first letter from Glory. I was so excited upon reading the envelope that I ran inside and had to show Roger. I read it out loud to Roger. There were tears running down my face. The top part is written in her language. The bottom has been translated. She is four and she wrote the most thoughtful words. She told us how to respond in her language. She told us about all the things she likes to do. She thanked us for sponsoring her. She said that our sponsorship means she gets medicine, food, and school supplies. She asked me what I like to do. She told me that she asks God to bless us abundantly. She told me she loved me. This little girl, whom I have never met, loves me and I love her. Then she signed the letter. In her handwriting, she signed her name. I touched it and imagined  her writing to me. She drew us some pictures one of a ball and one of a cup. Her hand drew me a picture.

 I read the letter thirty times over. I have a connection with this girl. I am in love. I instantly wrote her back and cried the whole way through. How amazing is this experience? I can give someone thirty-eight dollars a month and feel this blessed. I know three different families who are adopting. I adore them and every time something amazing happens in their story, I rejoice. They have a connection, they are helping the fatherless, they are giving a voice to those who cannot cry out. Now, I am able to do that. I am able to send my measly thirty-eight dollars to Glory and watch her grow up getting the basic supplies that she needs.

Do you have thirty-eight dollars to spare? I swear that it is the best thirty-eight dollars that you will ever spend!

.Thanksgiving 2010.

Thanksgiving is this week and that means Christmas is coming even sooner. I heard on FLN ( A Christan Radio Station in my area) that many people are just passing Thanksgiving by and going right into Christmas. I admit that my pink Christmas tree is already up in my room but I want to take this time to reflect on what I am truly thankful for this year...

• My Salvation. I could not be more thankful for the love of Jesus Christ. He washing away my sins daily and brings me back to Him in a way that I cannot ignore. I would not have anything without Him.
• My sweet love, Roger. He is my rock. He is the constant support in my life. There are so many things that I could not do without him. His unconditional love is amazing. Sometimes, his love puts me to shame. He willingly rubs my feet after a hard day or gets my blankie when I just need to cuddle. He is simply.the.best.
• My mother, Doreen. I have grown to love her more and more as I have gotten older. There are so many things that I could talk about here but let me share one specific thing. On Friday, I was having the worst day because of my car problems. I called my mom and she said stop what you are doing and come to me. Roger and I headed up there and with a simple touch from my mom, I burst into tears. I unloaded all my problems on her and she listened so willing. At the end of the night, she wrote me a check for the exact amount of my car problems. I did not see it coming, but she was there for me. She is amazing.
• Dave, Jeanne, and Jaxon. How many families do you know that can sit around and make train noises while playing with Thomas? How about the sweet laughter of child being tickled by his aunt? They are a strong constant in my life and I am extremely thankful for them.
• My best friend, maid of honor, Shannon. The renewed friendship is right from God. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be in this type of relationship today with Shannon. I love her dearly and she brings sanity to my life. We are both in the midst of planning a wedding and every time she offers support, love, or advice, I feel completely at ease. I cannot wait for what may be coming next in our lives...
• Sunday Night Football. I know this is odd to be thankful for, but I love being able to spend that time with Roger each Sunday. It is the only "down" time in my life. I absolutely love it.
• My new family, Beth, Mike, Ryan, and Reid. I cannot believe how much I love these guys. Most people dread going to their in-laws but I look forward to it. I love goofing around with Reid. I love when Ryan is home with us because he bring such a different mix to the family. I love my almost new mom and dad. They are always supporting Roger and I. They sacrificially help us when we come with broken cars or school bills. The family has taken me in and for once in my life, I am experiencing the love of normal family.
• My brothers, whom I miss dearly. I love hearing the sounds of their voices whether they are half way across the world or just downtown. They know me better than I know myself sometimes. I am thankful that Nathan has allowed Caleb to walk me down the isle and how happy each of them are for me. I am so thankful that they protected me all of these years from boys that didn't matter and have accepted the man I am going to marry.
• Glory. Operation Christmas Child. The million ways that we have supported children across the world. This year Roger and I have had a change of heart and we are able to help those in need. I am thankful for that opportunity. I am thankful that Glory is receiving proper care and that some child across the world will open our Christmas Box and be overjoyed. I am thankful for all the times that the cashier has asked Roger if he would like to donate a dollar and Roger says yes. We are so blessed and we are so thankful for the opportunity to be able to give back.

I could go on and on. I know that I could. I am beyond thankful this year. I have no words. I sit  here writing this post with blurred eyes. I have been given so much this year. Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! I hope you can find things that you are truly thankful for.

Little Update

It seems that I write in spurts, nothing about my blog is constant. I do not post every Monday or post regularly about my daily activities. I guess my blog is a lot like my life. It is not constant, it is always changing and I never know when something is going to be a steady constant in my life.

There are so many details I want to share with you but am not sure if I should. I guess I should talk to my man to see if I can share some very exciting things. Both of our lives are kind of up in the air right now but we are looking for God's guidance as to which way we should go.

Right now, in my non constant crazy life, I need to focus on school. I honestly need to get through these next 2 weeks and I think I will be golden from there. I have presentations, tests, power points, and quizzes every Tuesday and Thursday until Thanksgiving break! Break will be here before I know it!

That means my wedding is getting closer and closer. 7 months until we tie the knot! My dress now sits in my room, begging me to try it on... I have resisted mostly because I cannot put it on by myself! Ha!

So that's my little update for you...who knows when I will update again! :)

Enjoy your day!

.Domesticate Me, Please.

I write this hoping {and knowing} that my Femininist professor nevers reads this. Surely, she would fail me!

I skipped school today. Normally, I reward myself with skipping one class, but today, it was the entire day! {Don't tell my mom...} I couldn't resist though! I needed this day. However, I did not know how much it would truly reveal about my heart. Here's what I mean...

I feel refreshed. I feel revived. I feel refreshed. I feel {dare I say it...} content. I didn't do much today. I cleaned up the house, did some laundry, organized my school work, emptied the dishwasher, cleaned out the sinks, made lunch for Roger, read my book, spent time with Roger, and even made cookies! I feel accomplished.

How many times after a long day of school have I been able to say that? Uh...never? I never say that after a long day of school I felt like I have accomplished something. So guess what? My heart has revealed to me how much I truly want to be a stay-at-home mom. I know that not all days will be glamorous and fabulous, but still they will be days where I can say that I accomplished something great.

Ladies who are already a stay-at-home mom, take great pride!!! You get this divine privledge to educate your children, to feed nurious your family, to provide a safe and clean home for everyone who enters. This is not easy work, you ladies work hard. Take pride though! You have been given this gift of waking up every morning knowing that you can feel accomplished. Although, I will be finishing my degree and looking to work for some time, I long to join you. You women, you make a difference.

Now if you would excuse me, I am going to enjoy my warm chocolate chip cookies with someone I love dearly. And hopefully the rest of my family will be able to enjoy them as well!!

Blinded

You when you get a new car, you think you are the only one who has that car? It happens to me all the time. I got my Tracer and thought that I had never seen one of these cars on the road before. Then out of nowhere, I started to see them everywhere. It happened with my Cobalt. (Even though I hate to mention I ever owned that car...) And it has happened with my G6. I can identify G6's from aways away. I just started to notice that these cars are truly everywhere.

It's funny because I didn't start to recognize what kinds of cars were out there until I had my own car. Once I was aware of it, I would see if everywhere I turned. This is how I feel about the Word of God. Two of my very dear friends are adopting and have shown me a passage that I pass over everyday.

James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

How many times have I read James and did not really let the Words of God sink into me? Now that adoption is so prevalent in my life, I see it everywhere! I hear about it, I talk about it, and I pray about. Once my eyes were open to the Word of God, I couldn't get away from it, just like my car.

So it makes me wonder... what other things in the Bible have I just skimmed over and not let God really get ahold of my heart? There must be more things. I couldn't really know everything about the Bible already. I pray that God continues to show me things that I did not know so that I can identify them everywhere! I want to see what God sees. I want my heart to break for the things that break His heart...

At Peace!

Where to even begin?

Remember before in my posts when I said that I thought God was going to do something big in my life? I have finally figured it out...

At first, I thought God was pointing me in the direction of waiting to get married, maybe it was too soon, I don't really know. However, I am so thankful to report that that is not what is going on. Roger and I are doing great and we are still getting married.

Next, I thought maybe God was calling me out of my Accounting field. I thought maybe I should be a teacher or do this Aquatics thing for the rest of my life. Once again, that was not it. God knew my heart and has placed me in this spot exactly where I am supposed to be.

So what was left? Well I didn't want to admit it, I swore this is what I was supposed to do. I told everyone  that this is what I was going to do. I convinced myself that I must  do this. I spent $250.00 on this thing. However, everytime it crossed my mind, instantly I would get sick. My stomach would be off and I felt no peace about it. I have been struggling with this for weeks. My own little secret that no one has known about, until now.

People are going to laugh and think what was the big deal? This is nothing to worry about, but you must understood that I set myself up for it. I made a goal and I was going to follow it through. So here it is... I am not going to Graduate School. I cancelled my GMAT's and am putting it on hold.

See I told you, you are thinking wow big deal!  You got worked up over that?!? Yes, I did. I really have been struggling with it. There are so many things going through my mind but there are two main reasons why I am putting it on hold.

1- I am tired. I am exhausted. For the last 4 years, I have worked a full time job and traveled back and forth to school. No part of my college experience was normal. Many of you can remember what it was like to be a Senior and want to be done. However, many of you did not work 40 hours a week and go to school an hour away. I want to do one thing. I want to just work. I am sick of playing this game where I have to do both. I want to focus on my first year of marriage. I want to support my soon to be husband. I do not want to continue to do school and work.

2- What is the point of my masters? More money right? A better job? Why? So I can get a better house, a better car, or better clothes? This is wrong. My mindset going into this was wrong. I do not want those things. Even if I had the opportunity to do get these things, I would not purchase them. God is teaching me about the poor. My heart is broken for them. How can I justify going to school, spending $60,000 so that I can get a better job? My heart is set on things greater than money...

At some point, if I need  to go back to school, I will. I still would like to get my Masters as some point but now is not the time. Personally, I am hoping my future job will pay for it. So as of right now, I am graduating from Binghamton University with a 4 year degree in Accounting. I am excited for that accomplishment. It is a big one in my mind. (And my mom's...)

I am finally at peace. I know that this is what God wants. I am beyond excited as I let Him continue to control my life.