Swimming Tips... or Rant?

I was challenged several months ago with a question. What am I really passionate about? I strongly believe that each person's passions were given to them by Jesus to be used a tool for His kingdom. One of the things that I am really passionate about is teaching swim lessons. I cannot tell you how much joy I get when a child discovers going under water for the first time or finally jumps off in the deep end or discovers that they really can swim across the pool. The excitement and wonder of swimming in little ones just melts my heart and so I thought I would share some of my water tips with you. Plus someone asked so there's always that! 

Before I begin with some tips, I should quickly explain that I am qualified to share swimming tips with you. I once watched a lady blow into her child's face and throw her underwater because she thought that if she could make her daughter suck air in really quickly she could get her to go under. That lady is not qualified to share swimming tips and it was clear to me when her child came up choking. Just no to that. 

I was a certified water safety instructor, life guard, swim coach, and aquatics director. I have swam with hundreds of babies, children and adults. I have taught group lessons as large as 25 per class (4 year olds...yeah, be impressed), taught one on one adult and child lessons, and coached a few kiddos to state swim meets.While teaching swim lessons plays out in many different ways, I can safely say that I think I know what I am talking about. 

So let's start with some tips and if you have questions, just ask and I can clarify.

1- Swimming starts at home. You can safely teach your child, even your 3 month old baby, how to hold their breath. I recommend that you use some sort of command like "Ready, Set, Go" "Child's Name, Ready, Go" or "1,2,3" and then start to pour water over their head (eventually their face). This is called conditioning, you are training your child that when you say those commands that they need to hold their breathe. This is really perfect for babies because it is their natural instinct, they lose it somewhere between 3-6 months and 18 months. Often times if I am swimming with an 18 month old or younger I will dunk them in the water and 9 times out of 10 they come up fine, no coughing or anything which lets me know that they held their breath. If you don't believe me, look at you tube videos of 6 month olds swimming, especially the Australian ones where this is practiced a lot. It's flipping awesome. 

2- This goes hand in hand with  # 1, teach them that it is okay to get their face wet. Make a big deal out of it when you dump water on their face or an even bigger deal if they are jumping into the pool. But for the love of donuts, please do not teach them that they need to wipe their eyes. Ugh, just no.  I know as parents or caretakers, you can't handle it when water is all over your face. I can't either but trust me, you will never see me wipe my eyes in front of a child because they will pick it up. Your child needs to learn that it is okay to be wet. I once told a little boy that his eyes were made out of water and it was totally safe, a year later he reminds me that I was wrong about that. Oh well, guess who is going under the water now? 

3- Blowing bubbles is a great thing to learn in the bathtub. Little ones will think it is hilarious especially if you are practicing for them. If they are over the age of  2 and you haven't done a lot of bubble blowing, you may have to use some toys to help them understand that it's not scary at all. I use ping pong balls and when you blow bubbles next to the ball, it will move. Another great idea is to start to teach them to blow those soap bubbles. You know what I mean....the ones where that darn wand is stuck in the bottom of the container. If your child can blow a bubble then they are understanding the idea of exhaling on purpose. If you have older kids, I always ask them to show me how they blow out their birthday candles and then we pretend the cake is under the water. Blowing bubbles helps them to learn how to exhale under water and will lead to rudimentary breathing for freestyle later on. 

4- Goggles are a great tool and truthfully I love to use them when I teach, I have a whole bucket of swim goggles that I carry with me. I am okay with the goggles that cover the nose up but at some point you have to make sure the child can blow bubbles and is comfortable with just the goggles that cover just the eyes. If your child is going to learn proper free style (or you want them to) then they need to toss the nose goggles because it is hard to get the breathing pattern down. I recommend goggles that have plastic around the eyes. It creates a suction and then it is one less thing to worry about.

5- Flotation devices. There are a ton of different options of there. Life vests, full body suits, swimming arms, puddle jumpers, noodles. How do you choose? For me, I am not a fan of those bulky life vests or full body suits.  I have two issues with these types of devices. The first is that it creates a false hope of security in the water for BOTH the child and the parent. They are not safe. I have seen dozens upon dozens of children flip over in these things and cannot get themselves back up. It is terrifying. My second problem with these types of flotation devices is that it forces the child to swim as if he or she is walking. It makes the child swim vertically instead of horizontally which keeps their head out of the water, creating improper alignment in their neck and back and does nothing to help them swim. You don't swim standing up, you swim horizontally. But listen, I understand, you have a few kiddos with you and you can't manage 3 kids without something on them, I get it, use the life vest just please keep an eye on them.

Here is what I do recommend for flotation devices:

Puddle Jumpers These are great because it gives a lot of support on the tummy as well as the arms.  However, children will have to learn that if the flip to their back, they have to put their feet down in order to stand vertically again. You will have to let them flip on their backs and figure this out. That will be tough for you as a parent. It is a scary thing to flip over on your back and not be able to flip the other direction, the child will most likely be screaming for you, obviously go over and make sure they are safe and if they are and are just screaming for you, tell them to put their feet down. They have to learn this skill in order to feel like they are in control of what happens in the water. It sucks, I watched it happen but the next time this little girl flipped on her back was able to put her feet down and she was okay, just need a little tough love from mom. Just trust me on that. The only thing I don't love about this device is that it doesn't really make your child swim or tire them out enough. The device is doing most of the work instead of your child and let's be honest, you brought your child to the pool in order to sleep at night right? So after maybe a summer in puddle jumper or noticing that your child can swim for hours (because they don't have to work!) while you yourself are beat, I would transition to this device. Foam Pad Trainer.

I love this foam pad trainer. It offers less support but it's still enough to keep their face above the water. The other neat thing about this is that it has removable pads on the stomach and back. Oh yeah, you know where that leads to. As soon as your child has figured it out with the 9 pads, you take one away and they work harder and then you do it again and again and then guess what, they are strong enough to swim on their own. It's pretty cool to watch this transition. They will HATE it when you take away a pad but they will get over it or at least that's what I tell some of the kids I swim with.

The other thing I love to use is a pool noodle, especially for older kids. It gives just enough support to make them feel like they are okay but still forces them to swim. The goal is that they would need no support and they could swim if they ever fell into a pool or a lake. So if your child is getting super comfortable with their flotation device, it is probably time to switch things up and remove it. 

Gosh 5 was long... sorry about that.

6- If your child is stuck in their current swim pattern and all of the money and candy in the world won't get them under water (yeah that's right, I would bribe them), get them in some sort of formal swim lesson. Whether it is a friend who used to teach swimming, private lessons or group lessons, they just need something to get over that fear and someone to teach them how to be water safe. I know that many children will grow out of their fear of the water but a large number of kids don't and then they become adults who can't swim or aren't comfortable in the water. 

Here are my tips on swim lessons:

• Find an instructor that connects well with your child. If you want a drill sergeant then find someone like that, if you want someone to just teach them how to be safe in the water, find someone like that. Your child has to learn how to trust someone in the water, a scary place for a  lot of people so make sure they connect well.
• Don't judge the swim instructor on the first lesson. The first swim lesson is always awkward for both the teacher and the child. The child again is learning to trust someone in the water and the teacher is learning what works best  for the child. Last summer the little boy I swim with did everything on a points system and he loved it when I said 100 points for kicks, 150 points for floats ect. A little girl I recently started to swim with did great with some short little breaks in between activities to check on her mermaid girls that she brought. Another little girl does really well when we talk about her bike. It just takes time for the teacher (me) to learn what is the best way to teach lessons. 
• On that note, let the teacher teach. I know it is hard to watch your child say no or refuse to do something but trust me we are used to it, your angel is not the first child to scream they will never do back stroke and they won't be the last. If there are serious discipline issues or you have a pattern or making your child sit out if they don't listen, discuss that with the teacher and a good teacher will help support you as a parent. Also, feel free to leave the room while your child is getting lessons, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't so discuss that with your instructor as well.
• Don't use swim lessons as the only time they get to the pool. Kids need to be at the pool so that they can just play and practice things that they learn. Some of the best swimming discoveries are during play time (that's why I have a play time with my lessons). It's just fun to show mom and dad what they've learned and not be "forced" to blow bubbles or kick. Really, take your kids swimming, it will pay off. 
• Don't worry if your child isn't getting "it" as fast as the child next to him or you see that your friends 2 year old can do a perfect dive and swim across the pool. Swimming takes time and when someone is learning to swim, you are asking them to do something that is not natural for themselves so it is okay if it takes a summer or 2 before they learn how to swim. Just remember that swimming is supposed to be fun!!

I feel like I could go on and on about swimming tips, I guess that's because I am passionate about this issue. Drowning is the leading cause of accidental deaths in children, drowning is preventable so I am going to be passionate about something that keeps your babies safe.  If you have any questions, feel free to ask. If the question is can you teach my child to swim, I will tell you that I am full for the summer. Maybe someday I will go back to teaching full-time but for now I am keeping my desk job and doing this part time. :) 

Happy Swimming Friends! 

Doing. Doer. Fixing.

My default is to do. I am doer. I get hurt, I fix it. I feel sad, I comfort myself. I feel betrayed, I build a wall. A friend is hurt, I help. I am a doer, a doer of all sorts of things, not always a bad thing but sometimes it's a very bad thing. Truthfully my doer mentality is a mask I wear to cover the insecurity I feel in any given situation. I am an insecure person. Yeah, how's that for some honesty?

Today it hit me how much of a doer (okay we can use the word control freak) that I am. I control so that I feel safe or secure in my environment. It's like a huge struggle for me, you don't even know. I was cleaning my house thinking over the last week or so and I was overwhelmed with all that I had to do.

There is my friend who is going through some tough times...
There is a family who is hurting...
There is a boy who is seeking truth...
There is a home that needs order...
There are some ugly habits that need to be addressed...
There is a husband who needs my attention...
There are items at work to be taken care of...
There is a family traveling to see us...
There are items to be done with the new apartment..
There are budget concerns...
There is...
There is...
There is...

I mean seriously, you get the picture.

You know what I started to do? Fix them. Yup. I made a mental to-do list on how to fix all of the above situations. I mean come on, I am a doer, let's fix it all. I can do this, say this, make this, buy this, take care of this. I can fix (control) whatever comes my way.

Do you want to know where that got me? Crying ugly sobs at the bottom of my shower. It's how I roll when life gets to me. I cry in the shower. Yup, like a boss. Gah so much honesty tonight.

But as I am sitting there, crying in my shower, something came over me, something very powerful. This voice reminding me again that I am falling back into my same patterns. I am leaning on my own strength to do the to-do list that I have created. I struggle against myself and Satan instead of giving it over to God. I instantly felt convicted, why oh why do I go to my "doer" mentality when life hands me something I may or may not like? Why is my first thought myself? Why don't I turn it over to Jesus first and see what He has to say? Why do I take on this extra burden of doing it myself? I mean this is something you learn day 1 if you grew up in the church. Give it to Jesus, He will take care of it, He has a plan. Is it that I don't believe that? Or is it that I trust myself more than Jesus? Do I not think Jesus won't come through for me? I mean He has before but this time is different. Clearly He is too busy with someone else.

I hate this pattern of falling back into the same thing. I want to learn. I want Jesus to change me from the inside out. I want His name to the first I think of when there is a to-do. I want Jesus to have my burden and to handle it. It's a learning cycle (Dave!!) and I kind of have a love hate relationship with that. I love that Jesus is refining me and changing me but I wish I would learn this already. I mean who wants to ugly cry in their shower? Not me. Sigh. 

Trials.

In my life, I know when God is up to something because He repeats Himself a million times. It may be through a friend, a sermon, hearing a song differently, or a conversation but He repeats and I have now learned to listen.

I am learning that God is good, that suffering is necessary and that I enjoy being in the valley because that's where Jesus hangs out. I am, for the first time in my life, really believing that I can "consider it pure joy when I face trials..." I really am understanding what some of the greats of the Bible understood about Jesus, about how He is the sweetest thing in our lives.For me, it's always been Jesus plus something for me but now, it's just Jesus. Just give me Jesus.

I have been reading this fabulous book "Shattered Dreams" by Larry Crabb and it has transformed my way of thinking about suffering. A few weeks ago I wrote out the 3 lessons for broken people...

Lesson One:

The good news of the gospel is not that God will provide a way to make life easier. The good news, for this life, is that He will make our lives better. We will be empowered to draw close to God and to love others well and to do both one central purpose, to glorify God, to make Him look good to any who watch us live.

It's Jesus. The good news of the gospel is that we get direct access to Jesus and restored communion with Him. We get an intimate relationship with Jesus, a relationship that we have never experienced, if we allow Him to transform our hearts. So how does this relate to trials and the mess that life is sometimes? Well, as Larry said, "If dreams never shattered, we would continue to believe a lie and value only what God can do for us now; we would value neither His Presence nor all that He intends to do later. And we would not be willing to pay the devastating price required to experience His Presence now." 

You have to have trials to really experience Jesus. 

Lesson Two:

When God seems most absent form us, He is doing His most important work in us. 

Think of Jesus on the cross, He cried out to His Father "Why have you forsaken me?" God said nothing, God didn't take Jesus off the cross or take away His suffering, God left Jesus there and for a very good reason! It was during that exact time that "God was in the Son reconciling the world to Himself" (Thank you Lord for that!) God was still around, He may have been silent but He was still there working even though it may not have been known to everyone. How great it is to remember that even though He may seem silent, He is actually working in the background for us? Yes, I just love that. Don't you?

Seasons of personal suffering are opportunities for God to do His deepest work. I know that to be true in my life. God does His best work in me when I am the most hurt, when life has knocked me on the floor and I have no reason to move on. God is at work and it is during those very dark days that He is forever changing me.

Trials actually bring us closer to Jesus. 

Lesson Three:

It isn't always good to be blessed with the good things of life. Bad times provide an opportunity to know God that blessing can never provide. 

Larry says it best:

"We fight against three enemies: the world, the flesh, and the devil. Each does terrible damage, often in subtle ways. Suffering is required if we're to discover a desire for God strong enough to help us decline the world's invitation to an immediately good time, to resist the devil's suggestion that all goodness may not reside within God, and to see through the false reasoning of the flesh."

Let me tell you what, I am starting to really believe that if I had everything I have ever dreamed about in life (A father, healthy relationships, perfect marriage, and a great house just to name a few) I would never need Jesus. Sure maybe I would feel this desire of something more but I could fill it with something. I know,without a doubt in my mind,that without real trials in my life, Jesus would never mean as much to me. And you know what? I believe it. I believe that Jesus is enough and I believe that I need trials in my life. 

Trials point us to Jesus in a way a blessing never could.

These last few month have been the sweetest time in my faith journey. I have spent more time journaling, praying, reading, studying, and just being in His Presence that I ever have before. Sure. trials suck and the ones I am going through now are not fun but I know that Jesus in there with me, even though He is silent, He is there. I also know that He is good and I can trust Him through the hard times. While the hurricane may blow around me, I am calm and at peace in the center of who He is. 

Guys, I just can't get enough of what Jesus is doing in my life. I am just in awe of how He is transforming me.

 May I never be the same again. 

Breaking the Cycle

The cursor on this blog page mocks me as I try to sort through my thoughts tonight.

Sometimes, I just need to write and get it out there. Sometimes when I write I realize how absolutely ridiculous I sound and sometimes when I write I find truth that has been buried in the layers of my heart.

My mind has been busy and has not given me the rest I crave. I have been fighting the schemes of the devil again, doing it alone and failing miserably. I have been trying to resist him and his crafty ways, only to be caught up in his web of lies. 

I have not fought the devil rather I have been deceiving myself into thinking I am. 

I open the Word tonight and read out of 1 John 3:8 "Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil."

Me? Sinning? Sinning with the devil?! Say it isn't so!

You mean the past weeks where I have complained almost in every breathe about everything under the sun? Where I literally broke into tears over the fact that I had to go somewhere to support my husband? Me? Sin? As I sat on my love seat this past weekend purposely avoiding my husband because he didn't love me the way I wanted to? Me? The girl who controls every.single.situation? Whose hands get sweaty when things don't go my way? Oh gosh not me! I am the one who posts Christian things on Facebook and I am the one who has been listening to David Platt at work. I am the one who says everything is great, always great, always strong, never alone, never letting my guard down. 

Not me. Certainly not me. Nope. 

Fail.

And here I sit reading the verse above with the answer in hand. "The reason the Son of God appears was to destroy the works of the devil." And yet, I also sit here alone, scheming some way that I can control my life situations so I don't have to involve Jesus, sure keep Him in my mind and reference Him when I need to but not have control. I mean He came to destroy the works of the Devil, how am I involved in that?

And then a few verses over 1 John 4: 13 " By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us the Spirit."

Jesus in me? The same Jesus that has come to destroy the devil mentioned before?  He abides in me and I in Him? 

He abides in me and I in Him. 

He abides in me and I in Him.

What freedom is in that simple saying! My soul comes alive and my heart jumps as I recall all that He has done for me, all that He has given me, all that the Word promises that He has done for me and will do for me. 

He is my comforter, He battles for me, He overcame death, He makes my heart new, He gives me breathe every morning, He knows my inner thoughts. He is good. He is great. He is the one the choirmaster in Psalms says "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand days elsewhere." He is the one that has pulled me out of situations that are too hard for me to face. He is love and He loves me and has chosen me. He gave me the gift of eternity. 

He abides in me and I in Him.

Everything else seems trivial when I recount His worthiness. 

A time of change has come for me. I am done with the days where my heart is full of anxiety, fear, and complaints.  The Word of God is good and does great things for my soul and it's time to break the cycle these past few weeks and change. It's time to spend lunch hours reading the Bible with a close friend, a time for meaningful prayer, a time to dive into the Word and stop letting people spoon feed it to me, a time to read books that challenge me, a time to ask the hard questions and to look on my Savior as my one true fulfillment. 

A time of change.

And yes, I will need to be reminded of this probably as soon as I shut this computer but that's what community is for. We need each other and we need Jesus. Break the cycle with me? Enough is enough. 

He abides in me and I in Him. 

What a powerful statement. 

What a powerful God. 

Disasters and Promises.

The title of the sermon today was "Dealing with Disaster," and it's a good thing I have never had to deal with anything like that (insert sarcasm.)  Actually, I sat there very uncomfortable thinking that I was going to hear a 10 point message about how to deal with my disaster. to move past whatever stuff was going on in my life, and be everyone's best friend...I did not want to hear it. Obviously Jesus had other plans because as I sat there singing the closing song, I had tears streaming down my face so thankful for the message. I walked away extremely comforted and loved by the words that my Pastor shared.

Life is hard. People are hard. People hurt and life hurts sometimes. We as Christians are actually promised that "in this world we will have trouble..." but the good news is that Christ has overcome the world. John 16:33 And that is what hit me today. The God that parted the Red Sea is the God that walks with my through the valley and not any valley but my valley, that's powerful guys. In the midst of any difficult situation God still has a plan and He can still redeem any situation. God's fighting here for me, even today, and He is active in my life.

The problem for me at least is where do I put my hope? When hardship arise what do I run to?  10 times out of 10 I put my hope in myself, another person, or I just don't deal with it and hope it goes away which never works out for me. This is why I am comforted today because in the midst of crazy, God is there because He has never left me. God will deliver. God will redeem. God will come through and I needed to be reminded of that today.

And if that's what you need to be reminded of today, let me share some verses that I cling to when disaster is at my doorstep...

Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

Psalm 119:76
May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. 

Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. 

Lamentations 3:25
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 

Is Jesus Enough?

Is Jesus enough?

This question has been haunting me the past 24 hours and I wish it would stop. (Since I am being honest...)

Will Jesus be enough for me if...

... relationships are never fixed even though I desperately want them to be
... my husband doesn't leave me a sweet note when I am having a bad day
... we never get out of debt
... if people talk about me behind my back
... if God takes everyone I love away from me
... if work is hard
... if marriage/life is hard
... if I lose my best friend
... if I have to do another load of laundry
... if God asks something hard of me
... if fill in the blank

These are all things that have been running through my mind. Of course I want to say that Jesus is enough for me, who doesn't want to get the sunday school answer correct but what does my life say about that question?

My life says that daily I battle with worldly desires, temptations, quick meaningless whatevers so that I can experience short-term satisfaction and claim to be happy. My life says that I claim Jesus is enough but I don't live it. My life says that Jesus is enough PLUS this over here on the side...

Of course, thank goodness, there is grace so much grace, but when will the time come that my life matches what I say? I can keep living this watered- down, don't hold me accountable for anything, comfortable Christian life but when do I take sin seriously and when I do really start believing that Jesus is enough for me? And more importantly when does my life show that I believe Jesus is enough for me?

Tough question, even tougher when I am really real with myself.

I leave you with a verse that I found encouraging today...

"For You are my rock and my fortress; and for Your name's sake, You lead me and guide me, You take me out of the net they have hidden for me, for You are my refuge. Into your hand I commit my spirit and You have redeemed me O Lord, faithful God." Psalm 31: 3-5

How do I?

"The single greatest cause of Atheism today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and deny Him by their lifestyle."

This idea of praising Jesus with my mouth and then denying him with my lifestyle has been breaking my heart for weeks now. I have read several books on how we are supposed to be different as Christians, I have listened to countless messages on this issue and I watched a movie tonight that questions Christianity in America and how following Jesus is actually supposed to look. 

It's hard stuff guys and I am not sure I can even process it, let alone try to explain it here on my blog. 

It wrecks me to know that how I live my life could potentially either lead someone to Christ or make them completely turn the other way. (I am not taking ANYTHING away from the Holy Spirit here...) 

So how am I different? How does my life look different than that of the unbeliever next to me? If you asked me co-worker if I was a Christian would they know? Or would they just say I am a nice girl? In my heart I want to say yes of course they know I am a Christian, I don't swear, I don't party, I go to church, I live a simple life but so what... so do the Amish people and they may not be Christians... I mean seriously how does my life look different?

And this is where I am stuck and not stuck like someone should message me and say oh you are a good person, if you say you love God then people will know... blah blah blah I am done with this luke warm Christianity  non sense that my world seems to be stuck on. (Sorry that may be harsh...)

No the question is how do I do it differently, I mean every aspect of my life differently? How do I allow Christ to flood my thoughts so that everything truly is different?

How do I love Roger?
How do I maintain a home?
How do I take care of my body?
How do I present myself? Do I care about how i look, what I wear, and what size i am in? (Not saying do not take care of yourself...)
How do I react to my family situations when I would rather pretend they are not there?
How do I react to a stupid co-worker who just doesn't get it?
How do I react to my boss changing my plans?
How do I do church?
How do I worship?
How do I do community?
Where does my money go?
Where does my time go?

And you know that this list could go on and on but when will I start to take this Jesus stuff serious? He died for me and I give Him half of me (gosh half is generous...) what is up with that? Why don't I try harder?  And I should add in here that I DO NOT think that "acting" like I am different and "doing" the right things makes me a Christ follower or better than you. I can quickly become legalistic and I am not trying to create a check list for my Christian walk. 

I am talking about true heart change. The kind of heart change where I really see people for how Christ sees them because Lord knows I am a mess up and He saved me. The kind of heart change that honestly, most days I don't want, I am comfortable and okay right where I am. This kind of heart change does crazy to people and I don't want crazy. I want okay but Jesus never promised me that so why do I chase after the okay life? 

Gosh, more questions than answers but it is clear to me that Jesus is stirring something up in my heart. I know that probably before I go to bed, I will fall but Jesus has saved me and His grace and mercies are new each day. 

I would like to apologize if this post doesn't sit well with you but the truth is I can't because maybe there is a reason you aren't a fan of reading it, who knows. Writing helps me process and I needed this space to write. Also I should apologize because tonight I wrote like I would talk and if it doesn't flow well then welcome to my world :) :) 

Until we meet again cyber world! 

Meet The Darlings & Mercy Branch

Their son, Scotty and I at a family wedding

The Darling's are one of my most favorite families in the world. They are genuine, compassionate, Christ-followers who welcomed me into their family as one of their own; they are the real deal. I don't remember when they became my family but it happened and now they are stuck with me.

I met Jim and Tiffany before they had kids but really didn't get to know them until after their daughter Cadi was born. I think it was that second summer at BaYouCa when I really got to know them and the relationship just continued. They have been with me through my journey. Jim was there for me, standing in the middle of the field at camp when I announced my family was being torn apart again. He was there for me when I started to date a guy from his home church. I just found a Facebook message from when I was first interested in Roger and I asked Jim to see what kind of guy Roger was. They welcomed me into their home to love on their kiddos and eventually their kids became my sister and my brothers.

My first brown-eyed love, Jamesy

Tiffany completely changed my view on life when they announced that they were adopting Jamesy. I actually remember where I was on the BU campus when they called to tell me, I was ridiculously excited and had no idea what it would mean for my own life. Soon our conversations changed, no longer were we talking Coach bags but instead having conversations about the least of these and what that means in our lives. Tiffany changed my life by her faith story and Jim changed me with his soft spot for families and watching him break over both of his sons being stuck in Ethiopia. They have completely ruined me but in the best way possible.

Roger's buddy, Habi. You know what I mean?

Jim and Tiffany changed my husband's view on life when they took him to ET for a missions trip. He came back a different man. He had the eyes of Jesus, he saw people differently and he cared for people differently. I am forever grateful to Jim and Tiffany for asking Roger to go to Africa.

I dug out Roger's journal to share a part with you and show you his heart. He was sitting in church listening and crying while praise and worship was going on. A little girl about 8 years old sat with him and he fell in love. This is what he has to say, " She was a little taller than my waist, very short black curly hair and a beautiful smile. I wanted to ask if she had a family but it didn't feel appropriate. It pained me so much to leave her. That was definitely the most real adoption has been to me. I definitely want to unconditionally love someone that has no one to love them." 



Jim and Tiffany have done so much for Roger and I and truthfully I could go on and on but I won't because it is time for Roger and I to do something for them.

Tiffany and I, a picture I cherish. 

A little over a month ago, they asked us to help be apart of the 501c3 corporation that they were starting. We instantly said yes not knowing what it entailed. The corporation is called Mercy Branch and it is based out of North Carolina. Currently, we both sit on the board for Mercy Branch and are helping them get to Africa. As board members, we were asked to help fund raise to help offset the cost of them moving over to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Their heart is with the 150,000 children that roam the streets of Ethiopia, one I am particularly fond of but that is a different story. They want to disciple, love and train them to be men and women of God. Check out the full story here at Mercy Branch.

They cannot get there on their own means and have reached out to us to see if we can assist. Jim has prayerfully asked each board member to raise $5,000 which means for Roger and I, we are looking to raise $10,000. Truthfully, when we first got the email we both were like oh great, no way can we do that but the more we talked about it and prayed about it we truly believe God can do anything.

So here's what we did... we took our guest room door and put 100 note cards on the back of it and we are asking 100 people to give $100 or more as they feel led. When someone gives $100 or we get the equivalent of $100, we will write the names on the cards and update you guys on how it is going. I know this seems like a huge task but when I look at our Facebook friends alone, I have 275 friends and Roger has 413 this means that we could really get to our goal if only a small percentage donated!

You should know that we would not ask you to donate to an organization that we did not fully trust and support. (In case you aren't sure, we back this organization and family up 100%). We also will support Mercy Branch with our own finances and will be making sacrifices to be able to do so. We are committing to $200 for this pledge and believe that God is also asking us to give as monthly supporters down the road.

So you see, we really only have 98 left to go! Can you be one of our 100? If so, Mercy Branch offers secure giving through their online site. (Give here) Or you can mail a check to Mercy Branch at PO Box 80023 Raleigh NC 27623.

If you do decide to give as apart of the 100 people we need to reach our goal, can you send me an email so I can update my board? b.rose528@gmail.com

My sister Cadi with me on my wedding day

Roger and I have prayed over each of these cards and we truly do believe that God can do anything. I do hope you consider giving and praying for Jim and Tiffany and Mercy Branch because God is going to do great things through them and He gets all the glory for this!

I guess I should mention that they are not perfect people and they are human (have you ever been in a car with Jim in downtown Washington, DC?) They are not holier than us because they are going to Africa nor does Jesus love them more for adopting and caring for street boys. They are following God's calling in their lives and being obedient to His word. It looks different for all of us so please don't think I am sitting here judging you because I am not. I simply love these people, I love their heart and I support God's calling in their lives that is why Roger and I are asking you to donate because we believe God is going to continue to use them in our lives and as well as the lives of the people of Ethiopia.

So what do you say? Ready to help out our dear friends? We sure hope so :) 

Love.

Also, I swear there is a guy named Jim in this family, I just have no photos of us... :)

Abundance of Possessions

I struggle with materialism.

I want things, nice things and sometimes will do anything to get them. I fall into the American Dream of the white picket fence and a house filled with welcoming signs and decorations on every wall. I fall into the idea that I need new outfits when things don't fit right or that I deserve a new bathroom set because I am bored with mine. After all, I work hard for my stuff, right? 

Wrong, oh so wrong. And I am reminded of that all of the time. I have a boy miles away who has nothing, literally nothing and sometimes just needs a few dollars to feed his family. I have friends selling everything they own to follow Christ's leading in their life to move to Ethiopia and I have a compassion child who survives on next to nothing but still is so happy. With all of these examples in my life, I still don't get it. I still battle every. single. day. Pinterest, friends, co-workers, magazines and TV; just about everything I see speaks for more while I want less. 

And today as I sit nursing a cold, I am once again faced with scripture that speaks exact opposite of my materialistic heart and I am ashamed. I am ashamed that I store my treasures here on earth. I am ashamed that I have to be taught this lesson again...

Here's the scripture...

"Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest.  He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.'“Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”  “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you.Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God." Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes." -Luke 12:13-23

So now my question is what do I do? How do I guard my heart from wanting more when Jesus has just stated that life does not consist in an abundance of possessions. Roger and I have taken some very practical steps to help against this especially when it comes to gift giving around every holiday but what about every day life? What about the moment in the store when I have to have it?

This is where my heart is at. I have no answers to my questions yet. I do not want to meaninglessly go through my house and get rid of items we do not use, although that may be a good start. I want to be purposeful with my purchases and purposeful with my life. I want someone to walk into my life and know that there is something different not just because I am a Christian but because I am living the way the Christ of the Bible told us to live. Now where to start? 

I asked... When do I receive?

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" Matthew 7:7

Isn't that the nice warm fuzzy verse we all love to read? It sounds like all we have to do is ask and it will be given to me. What a great idea, ask and I get what I want. Well let me burst your warm bubble (and mine!), it hasn't worked for me. I have asked for lots of things... lots and lots of things but I haven't received them. So is Jesus a liar? 

The answer is no, heck no to be more specific. I came across this verse today and was in tears because finally I see where I am going wrong... 

"When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:3

Ouch. That one hit me right between the eyes. I ask ALL.THE.TIME. but Jesus knows my heart and does not give me what I ask for because I am asking with a jealous, angry, bitter, ect. heart. I am not asking for something with the intention of giving God all of the glory. It normally is opposite of that for me, I am asking to better benefit me, myself and I.

For example, I have been asking God to give me and my fellow Christian co-workers a more kind, tender-hearted, positive attitude. Why? Frankly, so I enjoy coming to work in the morning, so I don't dread dealing with difficult people, so I can have a cozy office life with no problems. Why hasn't God given me what I want? Maybe because I am making it all about me  probably... no definitely because I am making it all about me. What in my prayer instead was "God when I see darkness or poor attitudes in the office, give me the words to say to point them to You. Let me be a witness for You and make it about you instead of about me" I am guessing it would change things where I work and give God the glory instead of myself an easier day.  

I am not sure what you are asking for, maybe a wife or husband, more money, peace in your family. or health for loved ones, a better job, a happier work environment  or normalcy in a busy life? Instead of asking so it's all about you, maybe it's time to refocus our thoughts and heart to make it all about God.

Maybe if we asked with the right motives (which requires a true heart change) God would give us what we really want. After all, God wants to give us gifts and give us what we ask for...

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

Two years, 100 More to Go!

It's been two years since our wedding day. I can't believe it. Some days it feels like we have been married for 50 years, other days it seems like I just woke up to my new husband. Marriage was the best decision that I made in my life. 

I love this man. I love the family we are building. I love our every days together and the moments we spend giggling over a commercial. I love football games snuggled on the couch and late night talks while watching re-runs of our favorite shows. I love that I get to call him mine. I love that I have his last name. I love how leads our family. I love his heart for the least of these. I love how hard he works for our family. Truthfully, I am madly in love with Roger. I never thought that our marriage would be this good and this strong. I know tough times will come but we will be together and that is the greatest thing in the world. 

I cannot wait to see what the future holds. Happy Anniversary, Roger. Here's to 100 more years of marriage!! 

My favorite wedding photo of all time!!

New Winds.

Bear with me as I stumble through this blog post, I have so many thoughts and cannot seem to string them together ...

I am thankful for a church that preaches the gospel. A pastor who is not afraid to stand up and say things like as wonderful as animals are, they will not get into heaven. And we can spend hours fighting for proper education for our children but a well-educated man will still spend eternity in hell. Death is 100% certain so why do we spend our time on things that are not furthering eternity instead of pouring our lives into people?

I am thankful for a friend who let me borrow her copy of "Interrupted" which shows a God-centered journey of a family pouring their life into social justice, caring for the poor, loving the homeless and being a barefoot church. I am thankful for the the truth it is speaking into my heart. I am thankful to not be alone when I struggle with a grace-filled life versus a legalistic life.

I am thankful for my husband who graciously empty out his wallet to Linda, a lady who spends her days on the street corner where he works. I am thankful to have shook hands with her while the cars behind us were growing angry. I am thankful that she knew Roger's name when she walked over to us, and how sincere she said "God Bless you both" while I held back tears thinking "No, God bless you for what you just did for me. I was shocked to hear my sweet husband recite details of Linda's life, things he learned when he was walking back and forth to work without a car. I was humbled when I learned he had driven her to her motel miles away one night so she didn't have to take the bus.

I am thankful for Christ opening up my eyes and letting me see the needs of others. For so long I felt as if I were missing something. You know going through the motions, sitting in the same spot every Sunday, having the same conversations with the same people who are doing nothing... missing it. I couldn't really believe that the life I was living was what God had called me to live.  I feel a new wind blowing through my life, I feel God as clear as I feel a hug from my husband. I know He is up to something more in my life. I could not be more excited and terrified at the same time. Maybe you are where I am?

"We can't ignore God's ways and expect to maintain His favor. We don't get to neglect the major values of the gospel and claim preference or context. The demands of church leadership- and, more importantly  of living our lives- never come with a permission slip to act contrary to our heritage in Christ." Jen Hatmaker

At the top

I am devouring Jen Hatmaker's book "Interrupted" I find that each page rings some truth in my life. I want to be very careful not to just read the chapter and move on, I want to apply what I am learning and do something. I think we as Christians are called to be much more than hearers of the Word but actually doers of the Word. (Don't amen me yet, have you actually read the Scriptures? Scary stuff in there)

Here's where my thoughts landed for the night:

"When Jesus said, 'It is easier fot a camal to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God' (Matthew 19:24), I now understand that's me. And you. The higher wer are, the harder it is to adopt the heart of Christ. I supposed that's why Americans are the richest people on the earth but plagued with depression  suicide  and loneliness  We're furthest from the freedom that exists only at the bottom, and that liberation money can't buy" Interrupted pg 68

For many years I think I have had this backwards, I strived for the top. You know what's at the top for me? Worry-free living with all the money I could imagine, money to provide me with a huge house with the latest stainless steel appliances, cars, easy living, and a perfect master bedroom. A perfect stress free job where I look forward to waking up to. Oh and the perfectly dressed children with the world's best manners. The easy Christian life where I go to church and never get plugged in or make a difference. Ahh yes, the top.

But is that really where it's at? Is the top what I am living for? Is the top my goal? I don't want it to be. I want it to be at the bottom where Christ is. He came into this world in a stable, He did not have riches beyond riches or a fancy house off in the country side. He was not best friends with people who had the nicest things. He surrounded Himself with the least of these. He walked among the ones I may pass by. He spent time with the widow, orphan, prostitute, homeless, blind, and cripple.  Luke 6:20 records "Blessed are the poor, for theirs is the kingdom of God" 

And yet, I have been working my way up the ladder to the top where Christ does not say blessed are the ones at the top, no, He says quite the opposite. Does it mean Roger and I are to give away all our money? Maybe. Does it mean we should take the less comfortable house so we can help someone else? Maybe. Does it mean giving up my Starbucks so I can turn that 4 bucks into a meal for the homeless shelter I could donate to? Not sure, but it could.

I am not trying to guilt anyone into anything or make you feel like your possessions are evil, I am trying to find the balance (if there is one!) about living on this earth, doing His work, and not trying to climb to the top. It's a rough road but then again whoever said the Christian life would be easy? 

Misdirected Passion

This may come as a surprise to some of you but I  love football. I mean LOVE, LOVE football... My husband tells me all the time that he created a monster. You see when we first started to date, I could care less about this sport. I did not get it and  actually found it rather boring. However, my husband's family really enjoys sports so every Sunday, I would spend the afternoon watching the game. I was kind of impressed at how much everyone knew about the game and how they could argue back and forth over a call or know when a little play-action was coming and yet there I sat in the dark. 

Well to impress my boyfriend at the time, I decided to read a book on football, I think it was called "Football for Dummies." The book really helped me grasp basic understanding of the game plus watching it every Sunday really helped. Naturally I chose to follow Roger and be a Green Bay Packer's fan. When I became a fan, Favre was retiring(ish) and Aaron Rodgers led us to a 6-8 season  (I believe) so I didn't fall in love instantly with the game. As time went on, I found myself talking about the game, asking questions, understanding rivals, momentarily cheering for the Giants, and listening to anyone who talked football. 

To get to my point, yesterday the Packer's were in a play off game. Play-offs are what get you to the super bowl and it is a big deal. Aaron Rodger's is a fantastic QB so I thought we had a chance, I had a knot in my stomach all day. I wore my green jersey during the day and wore my white jersey at night since that is what I wore all season. (Yup. Superstitious) We started off well with a Pick Six and then well we lost... big time! The other QB was better and scored a few touch downs on us and we couldn't come back. I got angry that we were losing and upset that our defense could do nothing against the other team. I was upset when I went to bed and needed to talk it out with Roger and try to figure out where we went wrong. Truth be told, I was a mess. 

However, today is a new day and as I sat in church I felt this tug on my heart as our Pastor taught me something new in the book of Acts, a book I have read a dozen times before. All I could think about was the fact that my passion seems misdirected. I literally felt terrible after we lost last night but I am not sure I have felt the same over sin in my life. I am not sure I could say that I understand the simple truths of the Bible. I know I do not find myself talking about Christ as I go through my day or actively look for people who are. Sure I am passionate about somethings in the Bible but I am not as passionate as I should be. I could truly rejoice with those who are rejoicing over a victory over sin or I could fill my brain with verses instead of football knowledge.

Today I was reminded of the fact that I fill my time and energy with what is important to me. It could be organizing, football, reading or cleaning whatever it is, the Word of God seems to come second. I spend more time making sure I understand what is going on in the NFL than opening up the Scriptures. This has to change and not just because the Packers are riding the bench until next year, I mean really a heart change must happen and I honestly pray that it does. I want to be known as a follower of Christ not known by my hobbies or interests.

Just to challenge you, what in your life are you more passionate about than God?

Oh So Good

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish, you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God. I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of your works. " Psalm 73:26-28 ESV

As I was working through the Bible study that I am doing with one of my best friends, Chelsea, I came across the above verses. I read them and re-read them. For some reason they really hit me today and I am not sure why. Here are my quick observations about the Scripture:

• My heart and flesh fail all.the.time.
•  I do not have to try alone, God is the strength of my heart and He is enough for me
• Christ is my portion forever. I do not need to want for more
• If I am far from Christ (not saved I am assuming) I would perish
• Christ puts an end to everyone who is unfaithful to Him. Everyone who is unfaithful. Strong words!
• It is good, oh so good, for me to near God
• The Lord is my refuge, my safe place in times of uncertainty
• Because of His greatness, I tell of His works

I know that God reveals certain passages of Scripture to us just at the right times. For me, this was that Scripture. I am failing, daily I am failing and for some reason I feel the need to battle alone, to go to work against Satan alone. I do not have to battle alone, God is my strength and He is enough for me. Many times I look for God + something, I struggle with God being enough for me but He should be enough, right? If God took everything away from me, would I still praise His name? Would I call Him good? Would I say He is enough for me? I doubt it and that is my flesh failing and that is why I pour myself into the Scripture to be taught that He is enough for me. If I am unfaithful to Christ, He will put an end to me. Sometimes I imagine that God is this guy who is like "Oh, you messed up? Better luck next time" and pats me on my back and sends me off. It doesn't sound like that from this passage. It sounds like if I am unfaithful, He will put an end to us. I believe in grace, trust me but I also believe that I cannot read Scripture and see the words and do the opposite. I believe Christ demands obedience from me and not some half-hearted, water-down Christianity.  That is why it is so good to be near God. The more I allow the Word of God to change my heart, the more God teaches me it is good to be near Him. And because I believe it is good for me to be near him, I will tell of His works, His Grace, His Forgiveness and His love!

I just think it is so ironic that the very issues I am struggling with are addressed right in these few verses. God knows what He is doing. He constantly shows me that He knows what He is doing. I just need to trust Him.