Swimming Tips... or Rant?

I was challenged several months ago with a question. What am I really passionate about? I strongly believe that each person's passions were given to them by Jesus to be used a tool for His kingdom. One of the things that I am really passionate about is teaching swim lessons. I cannot tell you how much joy I get when a child discovers going under water for the first time or finally jumps off in the deep end or discovers that they really can swim across the pool. The excitement and wonder of swimming in little ones just melts my heart and so I thought I would share some of my water tips with you. Plus someone asked so there's always that! 

Before I begin with some tips, I should quickly explain that I am qualified to share swimming tips with you. I once watched a lady blow into her child's face and throw her underwater because she thought that if she could make her daughter suck air in really quickly she could get her to go under. That lady is not qualified to share swimming tips and it was clear to me when her child came up choking. Just no to that. 

I was a certified water safety instructor, life guard, swim coach, and aquatics director. I have swam with hundreds of babies, children and adults. I have taught group lessons as large as 25 per class (4 year olds...yeah, be impressed), taught one on one adult and child lessons, and coached a few kiddos to state swim meets.While teaching swim lessons plays out in many different ways, I can safely say that I think I know what I am talking about. 

So let's start with some tips and if you have questions, just ask and I can clarify.

1- Swimming starts at home. You can safely teach your child, even your 3 month old baby, how to hold their breath. I recommend that you use some sort of command like "Ready, Set, Go" "Child's Name, Ready, Go" or "1,2,3" and then start to pour water over their head (eventually their face). This is called conditioning, you are training your child that when you say those commands that they need to hold their breathe. This is really perfect for babies because it is their natural instinct, they lose it somewhere between 3-6 months and 18 months. Often times if I am swimming with an 18 month old or younger I will dunk them in the water and 9 times out of 10 they come up fine, no coughing or anything which lets me know that they held their breath. If you don't believe me, look at you tube videos of 6 month olds swimming, especially the Australian ones where this is practiced a lot. It's flipping awesome. 

2- This goes hand in hand with  # 1, teach them that it is okay to get their face wet. Make a big deal out of it when you dump water on their face or an even bigger deal if they are jumping into the pool. But for the love of donuts, please do not teach them that they need to wipe their eyes. Ugh, just no.  I know as parents or caretakers, you can't handle it when water is all over your face. I can't either but trust me, you will never see me wipe my eyes in front of a child because they will pick it up. Your child needs to learn that it is okay to be wet. I once told a little boy that his eyes were made out of water and it was totally safe, a year later he reminds me that I was wrong about that. Oh well, guess who is going under the water now? 

3- Blowing bubbles is a great thing to learn in the bathtub. Little ones will think it is hilarious especially if you are practicing for them. If they are over the age of  2 and you haven't done a lot of bubble blowing, you may have to use some toys to help them understand that it's not scary at all. I use ping pong balls and when you blow bubbles next to the ball, it will move. Another great idea is to start to teach them to blow those soap bubbles. You know what I mean....the ones where that darn wand is stuck in the bottom of the container. If your child can blow a bubble then they are understanding the idea of exhaling on purpose. If you have older kids, I always ask them to show me how they blow out their birthday candles and then we pretend the cake is under the water. Blowing bubbles helps them to learn how to exhale under water and will lead to rudimentary breathing for freestyle later on. 

4- Goggles are a great tool and truthfully I love to use them when I teach, I have a whole bucket of swim goggles that I carry with me. I am okay with the goggles that cover the nose up but at some point you have to make sure the child can blow bubbles and is comfortable with just the goggles that cover just the eyes. If your child is going to learn proper free style (or you want them to) then they need to toss the nose goggles because it is hard to get the breathing pattern down. I recommend goggles that have plastic around the eyes. It creates a suction and then it is one less thing to worry about.

5- Flotation devices. There are a ton of different options of there. Life vests, full body suits, swimming arms, puddle jumpers, noodles. How do you choose? For me, I am not a fan of those bulky life vests or full body suits.  I have two issues with these types of devices. The first is that it creates a false hope of security in the water for BOTH the child and the parent. They are not safe. I have seen dozens upon dozens of children flip over in these things and cannot get themselves back up. It is terrifying. My second problem with these types of flotation devices is that it forces the child to swim as if he or she is walking. It makes the child swim vertically instead of horizontally which keeps their head out of the water, creating improper alignment in their neck and back and does nothing to help them swim. You don't swim standing up, you swim horizontally. But listen, I understand, you have a few kiddos with you and you can't manage 3 kids without something on them, I get it, use the life vest just please keep an eye on them.

Here is what I do recommend for flotation devices:

Puddle Jumpers These are great because it gives a lot of support on the tummy as well as the arms.  However, children will have to learn that if the flip to their back, they have to put their feet down in order to stand vertically again. You will have to let them flip on their backs and figure this out. That will be tough for you as a parent. It is a scary thing to flip over on your back and not be able to flip the other direction, the child will most likely be screaming for you, obviously go over and make sure they are safe and if they are and are just screaming for you, tell them to put their feet down. They have to learn this skill in order to feel like they are in control of what happens in the water. It sucks, I watched it happen but the next time this little girl flipped on her back was able to put her feet down and she was okay, just need a little tough love from mom. Just trust me on that. The only thing I don't love about this device is that it doesn't really make your child swim or tire them out enough. The device is doing most of the work instead of your child and let's be honest, you brought your child to the pool in order to sleep at night right? So after maybe a summer in puddle jumper or noticing that your child can swim for hours (because they don't have to work!) while you yourself are beat, I would transition to this device. Foam Pad Trainer.

I love this foam pad trainer. It offers less support but it's still enough to keep their face above the water. The other neat thing about this is that it has removable pads on the stomach and back. Oh yeah, you know where that leads to. As soon as your child has figured it out with the 9 pads, you take one away and they work harder and then you do it again and again and then guess what, they are strong enough to swim on their own. It's pretty cool to watch this transition. They will HATE it when you take away a pad but they will get over it or at least that's what I tell some of the kids I swim with.

The other thing I love to use is a pool noodle, especially for older kids. It gives just enough support to make them feel like they are okay but still forces them to swim. The goal is that they would need no support and they could swim if they ever fell into a pool or a lake. So if your child is getting super comfortable with their flotation device, it is probably time to switch things up and remove it. 

Gosh 5 was long... sorry about that.

6- If your child is stuck in their current swim pattern and all of the money and candy in the world won't get them under water (yeah that's right, I would bribe them), get them in some sort of formal swim lesson. Whether it is a friend who used to teach swimming, private lessons or group lessons, they just need something to get over that fear and someone to teach them how to be water safe. I know that many children will grow out of their fear of the water but a large number of kids don't and then they become adults who can't swim or aren't comfortable in the water. 

Here are my tips on swim lessons:

• Find an instructor that connects well with your child. If you want a drill sergeant then find someone like that, if you want someone to just teach them how to be safe in the water, find someone like that. Your child has to learn how to trust someone in the water, a scary place for a  lot of people so make sure they connect well.
• Don't judge the swim instructor on the first lesson. The first swim lesson is always awkward for both the teacher and the child. The child again is learning to trust someone in the water and the teacher is learning what works best  for the child. Last summer the little boy I swim with did everything on a points system and he loved it when I said 100 points for kicks, 150 points for floats ect. A little girl I recently started to swim with did great with some short little breaks in between activities to check on her mermaid girls that she brought. Another little girl does really well when we talk about her bike. It just takes time for the teacher (me) to learn what is the best way to teach lessons. 
• On that note, let the teacher teach. I know it is hard to watch your child say no or refuse to do something but trust me we are used to it, your angel is not the first child to scream they will never do back stroke and they won't be the last. If there are serious discipline issues or you have a pattern or making your child sit out if they don't listen, discuss that with the teacher and a good teacher will help support you as a parent. Also, feel free to leave the room while your child is getting lessons, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't so discuss that with your instructor as well.
• Don't use swim lessons as the only time they get to the pool. Kids need to be at the pool so that they can just play and practice things that they learn. Some of the best swimming discoveries are during play time (that's why I have a play time with my lessons). It's just fun to show mom and dad what they've learned and not be "forced" to blow bubbles or kick. Really, take your kids swimming, it will pay off. 
• Don't worry if your child isn't getting "it" as fast as the child next to him or you see that your friends 2 year old can do a perfect dive and swim across the pool. Swimming takes time and when someone is learning to swim, you are asking them to do something that is not natural for themselves so it is okay if it takes a summer or 2 before they learn how to swim. Just remember that swimming is supposed to be fun!!

I feel like I could go on and on about swimming tips, I guess that's because I am passionate about this issue. Drowning is the leading cause of accidental deaths in children, drowning is preventable so I am going to be passionate about something that keeps your babies safe.  If you have any questions, feel free to ask. If the question is can you teach my child to swim, I will tell you that I am full for the summer. Maybe someday I will go back to teaching full-time but for now I am keeping my desk job and doing this part time. :) 

Happy Swimming Friends! 

Doing. Doer. Fixing.

My default is to do. I am doer. I get hurt, I fix it. I feel sad, I comfort myself. I feel betrayed, I build a wall. A friend is hurt, I help. I am a doer, a doer of all sorts of things, not always a bad thing but sometimes it's a very bad thing. Truthfully my doer mentality is a mask I wear to cover the insecurity I feel in any given situation. I am an insecure person. Yeah, how's that for some honesty?

Today it hit me how much of a doer (okay we can use the word control freak) that I am. I control so that I feel safe or secure in my environment. It's like a huge struggle for me, you don't even know. I was cleaning my house thinking over the last week or so and I was overwhelmed with all that I had to do.

There is my friend who is going through some tough times...
There is a family who is hurting...
There is a boy who is seeking truth...
There is a home that needs order...
There are some ugly habits that need to be addressed...
There is a husband who needs my attention...
There are items at work to be taken care of...
There is a family traveling to see us...
There are items to be done with the new apartment..
There are budget concerns...
There is...
There is...
There is...

I mean seriously, you get the picture.

You know what I started to do? Fix them. Yup. I made a mental to-do list on how to fix all of the above situations. I mean come on, I am a doer, let's fix it all. I can do this, say this, make this, buy this, take care of this. I can fix (control) whatever comes my way.

Do you want to know where that got me? Crying ugly sobs at the bottom of my shower. It's how I roll when life gets to me. I cry in the shower. Yup, like a boss. Gah so much honesty tonight.

But as I am sitting there, crying in my shower, something came over me, something very powerful. This voice reminding me again that I am falling back into my same patterns. I am leaning on my own strength to do the to-do list that I have created. I struggle against myself and Satan instead of giving it over to God. I instantly felt convicted, why oh why do I go to my "doer" mentality when life hands me something I may or may not like? Why is my first thought myself? Why don't I turn it over to Jesus first and see what He has to say? Why do I take on this extra burden of doing it myself? I mean this is something you learn day 1 if you grew up in the church. Give it to Jesus, He will take care of it, He has a plan. Is it that I don't believe that? Or is it that I trust myself more than Jesus? Do I not think Jesus won't come through for me? I mean He has before but this time is different. Clearly He is too busy with someone else.

I hate this pattern of falling back into the same thing. I want to learn. I want Jesus to change me from the inside out. I want His name to the first I think of when there is a to-do. I want Jesus to have my burden and to handle it. It's a learning cycle (Dave!!) and I kind of have a love hate relationship with that. I love that Jesus is refining me and changing me but I wish I would learn this already. I mean who wants to ugly cry in their shower? Not me. Sigh. 

Trials.

In my life, I know when God is up to something because He repeats Himself a million times. It may be through a friend, a sermon, hearing a song differently, or a conversation but He repeats and I have now learned to listen.

I am learning that God is good, that suffering is necessary and that I enjoy being in the valley because that's where Jesus hangs out. I am, for the first time in my life, really believing that I can "consider it pure joy when I face trials..." I really am understanding what some of the greats of the Bible understood about Jesus, about how He is the sweetest thing in our lives.For me, it's always been Jesus plus something for me but now, it's just Jesus. Just give me Jesus.

I have been reading this fabulous book "Shattered Dreams" by Larry Crabb and it has transformed my way of thinking about suffering. A few weeks ago I wrote out the 3 lessons for broken people...

Lesson One:

The good news of the gospel is not that God will provide a way to make life easier. The good news, for this life, is that He will make our lives better. We will be empowered to draw close to God and to love others well and to do both one central purpose, to glorify God, to make Him look good to any who watch us live.

It's Jesus. The good news of the gospel is that we get direct access to Jesus and restored communion with Him. We get an intimate relationship with Jesus, a relationship that we have never experienced, if we allow Him to transform our hearts. So how does this relate to trials and the mess that life is sometimes? Well, as Larry said, "If dreams never shattered, we would continue to believe a lie and value only what God can do for us now; we would value neither His Presence nor all that He intends to do later. And we would not be willing to pay the devastating price required to experience His Presence now." 

You have to have trials to really experience Jesus. 

Lesson Two:

When God seems most absent form us, He is doing His most important work in us. 

Think of Jesus on the cross, He cried out to His Father "Why have you forsaken me?" God said nothing, God didn't take Jesus off the cross or take away His suffering, God left Jesus there and for a very good reason! It was during that exact time that "God was in the Son reconciling the world to Himself" (Thank you Lord for that!) God was still around, He may have been silent but He was still there working even though it may not have been known to everyone. How great it is to remember that even though He may seem silent, He is actually working in the background for us? Yes, I just love that. Don't you?

Seasons of personal suffering are opportunities for God to do His deepest work. I know that to be true in my life. God does His best work in me when I am the most hurt, when life has knocked me on the floor and I have no reason to move on. God is at work and it is during those very dark days that He is forever changing me.

Trials actually bring us closer to Jesus. 

Lesson Three:

It isn't always good to be blessed with the good things of life. Bad times provide an opportunity to know God that blessing can never provide. 

Larry says it best:

"We fight against three enemies: the world, the flesh, and the devil. Each does terrible damage, often in subtle ways. Suffering is required if we're to discover a desire for God strong enough to help us decline the world's invitation to an immediately good time, to resist the devil's suggestion that all goodness may not reside within God, and to see through the false reasoning of the flesh."

Let me tell you what, I am starting to really believe that if I had everything I have ever dreamed about in life (A father, healthy relationships, perfect marriage, and a great house just to name a few) I would never need Jesus. Sure maybe I would feel this desire of something more but I could fill it with something. I know,without a doubt in my mind,that without real trials in my life, Jesus would never mean as much to me. And you know what? I believe it. I believe that Jesus is enough and I believe that I need trials in my life. 

Trials point us to Jesus in a way a blessing never could.

These last few month have been the sweetest time in my faith journey. I have spent more time journaling, praying, reading, studying, and just being in His Presence that I ever have before. Sure. trials suck and the ones I am going through now are not fun but I know that Jesus in there with me, even though He is silent, He is there. I also know that He is good and I can trust Him through the hard times. While the hurricane may blow around me, I am calm and at peace in the center of who He is. 

Guys, I just can't get enough of what Jesus is doing in my life. I am just in awe of how He is transforming me.

 May I never be the same again. 

Breaking the Cycle

The cursor on this blog page mocks me as I try to sort through my thoughts tonight.

Sometimes, I just need to write and get it out there. Sometimes when I write I realize how absolutely ridiculous I sound and sometimes when I write I find truth that has been buried in the layers of my heart.

My mind has been busy and has not given me the rest I crave. I have been fighting the schemes of the devil again, doing it alone and failing miserably. I have been trying to resist him and his crafty ways, only to be caught up in his web of lies. 

I have not fought the devil rather I have been deceiving myself into thinking I am. 

I open the Word tonight and read out of 1 John 3:8 "Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil."

Me? Sinning? Sinning with the devil?! Say it isn't so!

You mean the past weeks where I have complained almost in every breathe about everything under the sun? Where I literally broke into tears over the fact that I had to go somewhere to support my husband? Me? Sin? As I sat on my love seat this past weekend purposely avoiding my husband because he didn't love me the way I wanted to? Me? The girl who controls every.single.situation? Whose hands get sweaty when things don't go my way? Oh gosh not me! I am the one who posts Christian things on Facebook and I am the one who has been listening to David Platt at work. I am the one who says everything is great, always great, always strong, never alone, never letting my guard down. 

Not me. Certainly not me. Nope. 

Fail.

And here I sit reading the verse above with the answer in hand. "The reason the Son of God appears was to destroy the works of the devil." And yet, I also sit here alone, scheming some way that I can control my life situations so I don't have to involve Jesus, sure keep Him in my mind and reference Him when I need to but not have control. I mean He came to destroy the works of the Devil, how am I involved in that?

And then a few verses over 1 John 4: 13 " By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us the Spirit."

Jesus in me? The same Jesus that has come to destroy the devil mentioned before?  He abides in me and I in Him? 

He abides in me and I in Him. 

He abides in me and I in Him.

What freedom is in that simple saying! My soul comes alive and my heart jumps as I recall all that He has done for me, all that He has given me, all that the Word promises that He has done for me and will do for me. 

He is my comforter, He battles for me, He overcame death, He makes my heart new, He gives me breathe every morning, He knows my inner thoughts. He is good. He is great. He is the one the choirmaster in Psalms says "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand days elsewhere." He is the one that has pulled me out of situations that are too hard for me to face. He is love and He loves me and has chosen me. He gave me the gift of eternity. 

He abides in me and I in Him.

Everything else seems trivial when I recount His worthiness. 

A time of change has come for me. I am done with the days where my heart is full of anxiety, fear, and complaints.  The Word of God is good and does great things for my soul and it's time to break the cycle these past few weeks and change. It's time to spend lunch hours reading the Bible with a close friend, a time for meaningful prayer, a time to dive into the Word and stop letting people spoon feed it to me, a time to read books that challenge me, a time to ask the hard questions and to look on my Savior as my one true fulfillment. 

A time of change.

And yes, I will need to be reminded of this probably as soon as I shut this computer but that's what community is for. We need each other and we need Jesus. Break the cycle with me? Enough is enough. 

He abides in me and I in Him. 

What a powerful statement. 

What a powerful God. 

Disasters and Promises.

The title of the sermon today was "Dealing with Disaster," and it's a good thing I have never had to deal with anything like that (insert sarcasm.)  Actually, I sat there very uncomfortable thinking that I was going to hear a 10 point message about how to deal with my disaster. to move past whatever stuff was going on in my life, and be everyone's best friend...I did not want to hear it. Obviously Jesus had other plans because as I sat there singing the closing song, I had tears streaming down my face so thankful for the message. I walked away extremely comforted and loved by the words that my Pastor shared.

Life is hard. People are hard. People hurt and life hurts sometimes. We as Christians are actually promised that "in this world we will have trouble..." but the good news is that Christ has overcome the world. John 16:33 And that is what hit me today. The God that parted the Red Sea is the God that walks with my through the valley and not any valley but my valley, that's powerful guys. In the midst of any difficult situation God still has a plan and He can still redeem any situation. God's fighting here for me, even today, and He is active in my life.

The problem for me at least is where do I put my hope? When hardship arise what do I run to?  10 times out of 10 I put my hope in myself, another person, or I just don't deal with it and hope it goes away which never works out for me. This is why I am comforted today because in the midst of crazy, God is there because He has never left me. God will deliver. God will redeem. God will come through and I needed to be reminded of that today.

And if that's what you need to be reminded of today, let me share some verses that I cling to when disaster is at my doorstep...

Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

Psalm 119:76
May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. 

Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. 

Lamentations 3:25
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 

Is Jesus Enough?

Is Jesus enough?

This question has been haunting me the past 24 hours and I wish it would stop. (Since I am being honest...)

Will Jesus be enough for me if...

... relationships are never fixed even though I desperately want them to be
... my husband doesn't leave me a sweet note when I am having a bad day
... we never get out of debt
... if people talk about me behind my back
... if God takes everyone I love away from me
... if work is hard
... if marriage/life is hard
... if I lose my best friend
... if I have to do another load of laundry
... if God asks something hard of me
... if fill in the blank

These are all things that have been running through my mind. Of course I want to say that Jesus is enough for me, who doesn't want to get the sunday school answer correct but what does my life say about that question?

My life says that daily I battle with worldly desires, temptations, quick meaningless whatevers so that I can experience short-term satisfaction and claim to be happy. My life says that I claim Jesus is enough but I don't live it. My life says that Jesus is enough PLUS this over here on the side...

Of course, thank goodness, there is grace so much grace, but when will the time come that my life matches what I say? I can keep living this watered- down, don't hold me accountable for anything, comfortable Christian life but when do I take sin seriously and when I do really start believing that Jesus is enough for me? And more importantly when does my life show that I believe Jesus is enough for me?

Tough question, even tougher when I am really real with myself.

I leave you with a verse that I found encouraging today...

"For You are my rock and my fortress; and for Your name's sake, You lead me and guide me, You take me out of the net they have hidden for me, for You are my refuge. Into your hand I commit my spirit and You have redeemed me O Lord, faithful God." Psalm 31: 3-5

How do I?

"The single greatest cause of Atheism today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and deny Him by their lifestyle."

This idea of praising Jesus with my mouth and then denying him with my lifestyle has been breaking my heart for weeks now. I have read several books on how we are supposed to be different as Christians, I have listened to countless messages on this issue and I watched a movie tonight that questions Christianity in America and how following Jesus is actually supposed to look. 

It's hard stuff guys and I am not sure I can even process it, let alone try to explain it here on my blog. 

It wrecks me to know that how I live my life could potentially either lead someone to Christ or make them completely turn the other way. (I am not taking ANYTHING away from the Holy Spirit here...) 

So how am I different? How does my life look different than that of the unbeliever next to me? If you asked me co-worker if I was a Christian would they know? Or would they just say I am a nice girl? In my heart I want to say yes of course they know I am a Christian, I don't swear, I don't party, I go to church, I live a simple life but so what... so do the Amish people and they may not be Christians... I mean seriously how does my life look different?

And this is where I am stuck and not stuck like someone should message me and say oh you are a good person, if you say you love God then people will know... blah blah blah I am done with this luke warm Christianity  non sense that my world seems to be stuck on. (Sorry that may be harsh...)

No the question is how do I do it differently, I mean every aspect of my life differently? How do I allow Christ to flood my thoughts so that everything truly is different?

How do I love Roger?
How do I maintain a home?
How do I take care of my body?
How do I present myself? Do I care about how i look, what I wear, and what size i am in? (Not saying do not take care of yourself...)
How do I react to my family situations when I would rather pretend they are not there?
How do I react to a stupid co-worker who just doesn't get it?
How do I react to my boss changing my plans?
How do I do church?
How do I worship?
How do I do community?
Where does my money go?
Where does my time go?

And you know that this list could go on and on but when will I start to take this Jesus stuff serious? He died for me and I give Him half of me (gosh half is generous...) what is up with that? Why don't I try harder?  And I should add in here that I DO NOT think that "acting" like I am different and "doing" the right things makes me a Christ follower or better than you. I can quickly become legalistic and I am not trying to create a check list for my Christian walk. 

I am talking about true heart change. The kind of heart change where I really see people for how Christ sees them because Lord knows I am a mess up and He saved me. The kind of heart change that honestly, most days I don't want, I am comfortable and okay right where I am. This kind of heart change does crazy to people and I don't want crazy. I want okay but Jesus never promised me that so why do I chase after the okay life? 

Gosh, more questions than answers but it is clear to me that Jesus is stirring something up in my heart. I know that probably before I go to bed, I will fall but Jesus has saved me and His grace and mercies are new each day. 

I would like to apologize if this post doesn't sit well with you but the truth is I can't because maybe there is a reason you aren't a fan of reading it, who knows. Writing helps me process and I needed this space to write. Also I should apologize because tonight I wrote like I would talk and if it doesn't flow well then welcome to my world :) :) 

Until we meet again cyber world!